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Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, birth control and sexual health, ask here!

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How does virginity work for bisexuals? - March 22nd 2016, 01:51 AM

I mean like does it just depend on heterosexual sex since by definition that the only definition of sex. Or does it go for both? Or what?
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Re: How does virginity work for bisexuals? - March 22nd 2016, 03:27 AM

There are two definitions of sex, the first one refers to sexual intercourse, the other refers to the biology of the person, usually male or female. Whatever, its a nuance.
Anyway, virginity isn't always as simple and straightforward as it sounds. It is what you make of it. Like is sexual activity of any kind considered losing your virginity? Is one second of vaginal penetration considered losing your virginity for men or women? I wouldn't really consider it that, even though society basically says vaginal intercourse is standard. What about blowjobs? To some people, thats sex (believe it or not), but not to others. To me, virginity is just a word. For example, I did anal with my friend when I was 16, but I still consider myself a virgin because I haven't had sex with a woman. But I still consider anal as sex in other contexts, maybe because I assume the people involved enjoyed it (I didn't, my friend was a terrible person who didn't use lube).
So... virginity is something that you would brag to your friends about losing? Hell, now I don't even know. Or maybe virginity is just an identity that people take on so they can celebrate losing it while getting a milestone.
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Re: How does virginity work for bisexuals? - March 22nd 2016, 06:13 AM

I don't think that there's any one definition of virginity, or what constitutes losing it. I think it's really just what you make of it, and everyone has their own definition/interpretation of it at the end of the day. It depends entirely on your definition of 'sex', which, like Robert mentioned, differs for everybody.


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Re: How does virginity work for bisexuals? - March 22nd 2016, 06:24 AM

Virginity is a complicated concept. Essentially the definition for virginity is different for every single person because virginity pertains to the individual. It's difficult for everyone to agree on one meaning because it's such a subjective thing, and so many things factor into it. Personally I feel society would do a lot better if we put a lot less emphasis on the importance of virginity, but that's another discussion entirely, and one I won't get into here.

I can only give you my personal definition of virginity. In the past two years I have discovered I am pansexual, but up until then from the time I was fifteen I knew I was bisexual. For me, I considered virginity to be virginity: my first sexual experience. It happened to be with a male, so we had heterosexual intercourse, but if I had interacted with a female first in that way I would have still considered myself to have lost my virginity. What's sex (and, ergo, the loss of virginity) to me? Any form of consensual oral, vaginal, or anal intercourse, including the use of sex toys, with one exception: I consider manual stimulation between women to count as a sexual experience, but not manual stimulation between a male and a female. Again, this is MY definition of intercourse/loss of virginity. Everyone here may give you a different answer. In the end, you have to decide what is right for yourself.
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Re: How does virginity work for bisexuals? - March 22nd 2016, 06:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MichWolverineFreak View Post
There are two definitions of sex, the first one refers to sexual intercourse, the other refers to the biology of the person, usually male or female. Whatever, its a nuance.
Anyway, virginity isn't always as simple and straightforward as it sounds. It is what you make of it. Like is sexual activity of any kind considered losing your virginity? Is one second of vaginal penetration considered losing your virginity for men or women? I wouldn't really consider it that, even though society basically says vaginal intercourse is standard. What about blowjobs? To some people, thats sex (believe it or not), but not to others. To me, virginity is just a word. For example, I did anal with my friend when I was 16, but I still consider myself a virgin because I haven't had sex with a woman. But I still consider anal as sex in other contexts, maybe because I assume the people involved enjoyed it (I didn't, my friend was a terrible person who didn't use lube).
So... virginity is something that you would brag to your friends about losing? Hell, now I don't even know. Or maybe virginity is just an identity that people take on so they can celebrate losing it while getting a milestone.
yeah I still do consider myself one for that reason because I feel like the main definition to those of like my friends etc is related to sex with a woman. At the same time it confuses me because I'm like lesbian and gay people aren't virgins forever. Idk
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Re: How does virginity work for bisexuals? - March 23rd 2016, 05:46 PM

Virginity is a concept that has been overly simplified by society, but it is nowhere near as straight-forward as it sounds. The short answer is this: virginity depends on you. If you've had heterosexual sex, then by society's definition, you've lost your virginity. That being said, you don't have to have sex with a partner of the opposite sex in order to lose your virginity. When you feel like you have had sex, then you've lost your virginity. That might sound like a cop-out answer, but it's true. Take lesbians, for example. There are some that see sex as going down on another girl, while others believe there has to be penetration with fingers or a toy for it to be considered sex. It really just depends on what feels like sex versus foreplay to YOU.


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Re: How does virginity work for bisexuals? - March 25th 2016, 12:48 AM

I'm pan, but I think that it's the same idea for me so I'll add in my two cents.
Although I can respect that some people think that the concept of virginity is silly (because in many ways, it is), I can also understand the emotional fringes on someone's "first time". I think that virginity is whatever the person wants it to be. For me personally, it is when one does anything with the word "sex" in the name that they lose their virginity. (Oral sex, vaginal sex, anal sex, etc.) For someone else, it could be only one kind of sex, or even having a first kiss could count as losing your virginity for someone. It all depends on your view on sex.


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Re: How does virginity work for bisexuals? - March 27th 2016, 03:22 PM

I think that virginity is super complex. Traditionally, it's always been about penetrative penis-vagina sex, but realistically I think even before people start to be more open minded about non-heterosexual relationships it was always more complicated as that; like I am pretty sure that even the traditionalists would think that oral sex still "counts" in their internalized list of things that "should have waited for marriage" and therefore technically fall into the "virginity" category, you know what I mean.

The way I see it is that virginity is much more of an emotional / mental state than it is a physical one and it is a highly personal one. I considered myself a virgin until the first time that I had penetrative sex with a man (I am a woman), but a gay man might consider that the first time he had anal OR the first time he received oral, or maybe it's the first time you had oral (I know plenty of heterosexual people who would also seriously question their virginity at this point, especially because like does a hymen have to break for virginity to be lost? How does a man "really" lose virginity in that case? isn't oral just as intimate?).

I think that now that the question has opened up to be open to conversations, people have become more interested in trying to define it, but I think the definition is still not 1 thing, it's a personal thing.




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Re: How does virginity work for bisexuals? - March 29th 2016, 05:24 AM

Virginity is an antiquated and very heteronormative concept.

I think that everyone defines their sexual experiences in their own way. Maybe some bisexual folks feel that their first sexual experience was their "loss of virginity," and perhaps others feel that they have two different virginities that they can 'lose.' I can't speak to that since i'm not bi.
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