Female Advice Preferred: slightly confused

[susan s]

Hi I am 27 so I'm not exactly inexperienced in relationships with guys but I find myself in a situation which is a bit confusing i guess is the right way to put it. Let me tell you about myself and my past. First off whenever I had a guy in the past that I had a sexual relationship with as far as I can recall I would continue to masturbate when I was apart from him in my normal rate which is about 2-3 times a week I guess. It sometimes would even be less than that because I was having actual sex with him so I didn't feel the need as much. That said here is the current situation. I now find myself in a relationship with a great guy that I am truly crazy about. Our physical relationship is nothing less than incredible as well. I am able to be with him usually about 2 times a week on average I would say. I'm hoping that soon that will change so that we can be together a lot more. Here is the question I am confused about. Even though I am being totally satisfied sexually with him I find that I am masturbating more than usual. I would say it has become an everyday thing assuming I have the time LOL. I am usually thinking about him most of if not all of the time so I don't feel like Im not happy with him because I totally am. I just think that from what I have read that when you are in a relationship that masturbation "usually" slows down not increases which is my case. I would be happy to hear from any of you ladies to see what your experiences are or were in a similar situation because I'm not sure exactly what to make of it. I guess I'm worrying for no reason because that's my nature to worry about stuff but thought I would reach out here because where else can one go for honest feedback. Thanks for any input.

[Silvan]

Hi, thanks for reaching out.

I wouldn't worry! Indeed the need to masturbate is often less significant when one is involved in a sexual relationship, as sexual needs are largely fulfilled by the partner(s). However, from what you have described it seems that the increased need to masturbate is in your case just a psychological reaction; since the thought of your partner is very arousing to you, I'm not surprised that it makes you feel like masturbating during the days when you cannot be close to the partner.

As long as masturbating does not interfere in your daily life and normal functioning, there is no need to worry.

Take care!
xx S

[Coffee.]

Hi Susan! For many folks, their libido (or how horny they are) may be correlated with how often they're having sex and the satisfaction in that and may masturbate "less" if having sex regularly. However, that isn't always the case. Your libido can change over time, and sometimes, having more good sex makes you want...even more good sex or orgasms! I go through phases where my libido may be much higher or lower, sometimes related to mood or medications too. There's nothing wrong with being a lil extra "thirsty" lately, and hopefully you're having plenty of fun!

[susan s]

Thanks for the responses. I really appreciate your thoughts on this....

Hey Susan! I want to assure you that what you're experiencing is perfectly within the realm of normal. As Traci said, people sometimes masturbate less frequently when they are more sexually active, but some find they masturbate more frequently. When I am in a sexually satisfying relationship I actually tend to masturbate more frequently, myself. Being sexually fulfilled makes me crave more of the positive physical feelings I get from sexual stimulation. So don't worry; unless it's interfering with your quality of life or responsibilities, frequent masturbation is perfectly okay!