FEELINGS AFTER EXPERIMENTING

[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""][FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""][FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]We have been best friends since the 2nd grade. a few months ago we started sex ed in gym class and one day walking home from school he asked me if I had the changes going on down there.
I told him yes that it started about last summer. Then he asked if I ever played with it. We both admitted that we did.
A few days later while walking home he asked what they discussed in my sex ed class (it is sort of an open thing so conversations can go any way) I told him how one of the "more advanced" kids was talking about oral sex and that frankly it sort of confused me. I was n't sure what it excatly was. Both of our phones have parent blocks on them so we went to his house and snuck into his older brothers room and took his tablet and googled it. Even though we did not admit it to each other I could see he got hard and I am sure he noticed me too.
A week went by and we started talking about who we would like to give us blowjobs if we had the chance.
Then he asked if I "came yet' I told yes for quite a while now and he said it just started for him a few months ago.
Then we talked about our sizes, pubic hair etc. and we ended up showing each other our dicks. (we have seen each other naked when younger but not latley.) I think we wer both surprised at the changes.
Both of us got hard and we took care of things in seperate rooms.
When we were done he asked if I "came yet' I told yes for quite a while now and he said it just started for him.
On and off we jerked it with each other around- sometimes in seperate rooms most of the time in his bedroom. I even kept a special towel there.
Now that it is summer we have seen each other naked a lot- changinng at the pool, went naked swimming at the quarry, we jerked it in the woods among other places and even stripped down and ran past some girls we knew at the quarry (his idea not mine)
A few days ago I had to stay at his house becasue we had an early baseball tourny and things quickly turned to sex and he had this idea if we thought about girls and put them in each others the others mouth- would you still just like girls. Long of it we agreed on the concept and did it, agreeing not to finish in the mouth and most importantly not tell anyone.
I lost RPS and went first. I told him it was weird but secertly I sort of liked it. He did mine and then we finished ourselves off, this time so close we splashed each other finishing, he kinda freaked out.

It started to be my go to thought when I was having private time.
Then last week we decided to try it again after practice. I volunteered to go first. I sort of got into to it and already decided i was not going to stop when he gave me the warning. I am not sure why, but it was in my head
I kept going and he finished in my mouth, it freaked him out that i did that, and he said i looked like I was into it. I played dumb and a little mad, saying it was no big deal, that I wasn't pissed off and it was bound to happen.
He was afraid to do me becasue he thought I would go for revenge- and did a handy instead.
I didn't mind.
he keeps asking me why i did that-
Do I tell him I did it on purpose? I am afraid he will want to stop he is a homophobe for sure
Why do i feel so guilty immeaditley after and so fucused before.
i am super confued and can not say anything to anyone-
13 & counting.[/size][/color][/font][/size][/color][/font][/size][/color][/font]

[¯|_(ツ)_|¯]

Hey,

This is a complicated situation to be in for sure!

Experimentation with sexual activity is definitely normal, although boundaries do have to be set so everyone knows what’s agreed upon and what you’re comfortable with. From what I’m understanding, you didn’t stop when he asked you to and kept going. That would be crossing a huge boundary and violated consent.

It’s not a matter of him being homophobic or not. If he wanted you to stop before he finished and you didn’t he has the right to be upset and he has the right to wish to stop engaging in these activities with you at any time. Don’t let that stop you from being honest though, even if it means these acts won’t continue. If you do end up doing it again, make sure to stay within what was consented to because a violation of that could be considered sexual assault.

[tibees]

I'm not surprised that he was not comfortable with the orgasm if he wasn't ready for it. It's really personal when you orgasm with somebody especially if he hasn't done it before. Maybe just tell him that you made a mistake and you're sorry about it. Blowjobs are supposed to be fun for both people so make sure you both know how you want to do it and stick to that in the future.