My girlfriend never wants to have sex...

[amimad?]

We recently started having sex a while ago. The first couple weeks was great, sex every other day, she seemed to like, I liked it, etc. Recently, we've only been having sex maybe every 7-9 days. I started talking to her about it and she went off on me, yelling about how "I'll have sex when I want to fucking have sex with you, you can't force me to have sex with you everyday" and I immediately started assuring her it's not about having sex everyday, I don't care about that. I tried explaining to her how I feel she's just lost her physical attraction to me, I mean, if you're attracted to your partner, don't you generally WANT to have sex with them? I'm not asking her to suck it up and have sex with me.... I just feel like if she was attracted to me physically, she would WANT to have sex with me occasionally. Let me assure you sex isn't everything in our relationship, it just makes me feel horrible thinking that she's just probably unattracted to me. She didn't really listen to that argument either, she just kept pressing on about how she shouldn't be forced, completely missing my point. Any advice on my situation people :/ I just feel neglected and alone at nights, I don't want to have sex with her every night, but I don't want to not have any sex with her to the point where I feel like she's unattracted to me.

[Harmony♥]

In my honest opinion, it sounds like she's lost that physical attraction to you. If she isn't wanting to have sex, especially as constant as it was before, there probably isn't enough attraction there for her to be with you. It's a harsh reality, but I think if this is true, you need to come to a decision.

[The Goblins Blade]

If she is going to be like that, leave her.

[blumemusik♫]

If it was really sudden, it is likely that she just isn't attracted to you as much anymore. The key is really communication - show you're not forcing her into sex, but you need to know if it's just she isn't attracted to you anymore. If this is true, it may be time to rethink your relationship.

[Brandon]

Sex gets boring with the same person after a while. At some point, it has to turn into "making love" or else the sex will die out. At first, there's things to try...anal sex, public sex, etc etc but after a while you do things repetitively. There's a lot of things that come into play...physical attraction being one of them. Of course, if you were the most attractive man in the world..I'm certain that she'd constantly be wet & ready for procreation but realistically...she's gotta be put in the mood. It's not always about the looks, but how we do things. For instance, my girlfriend finds it incredibly sexy when I'm driving. When I drive, I squint my eyes and such. I'm not incredibly attractive, but something like that can turn her on. The more I date her, the more I know what buttons to push. If you don't have that emotional connection, then the sex is doomed to end. I see my girlfriend every weekend and I never anticipate to have sex because I know that if I do anticipate, I'm going to expect it. But if I show her that I care, if I focus on the relationship and the purpose of us dating in the first place (because we love each other), then the commitment alone can get me laid. Girls who are wanting to commit to a relationship will find guys who want to commit to a relationship more attractive, and therefore attraction leads to sex/making love. Ultimately, if she's not having sex with you...it's because you and her aren't as compatible as you'd like to be.

[2dreamland]

You know, people do things for different reasons. She could be going through some stuff, who really knows? Communication is key. Try to talk to her again, and make sure you're not forcing her to do anything,. just ask if anything is going on or just come out and say it "Do you still find me attractive?". Just try one more time... I know people are saying she's not into you anymore but it doesn't hurt to try one more time. It sounds more like a control issue, not an attractive issue. If she's saying stuff like she'll do it when she wants to, etc. She could be having a bad few weeks, not feeling very "turned on", taking it out on you, really anything. Who knows though. That's just the feeling I get .But i don't even know you guys! I would just try one more time to find out. pay attention to her other actions. besides sex, are you guys still having fun? does she still kiss you? Etc.. Lemme know how it goes. this is just how I see it. I know everyone else is saying different but hey, u never know If you love her it's worth it, if not move on and find someone else to have sex with...

[Pessimistic Panda]

I go through moments like that with my husband. I don't want to have sex or do anything with him. It's not like a loss of attraction. It's either because I don't feel good, or I have stuff on my mind. There could be stuff on her mind that's overwhelming her and sex is the last thing on her mind, and yes it seemed like the 1-2 months we were together that's all that happened between him and I. But women's minds, at least mine was that I need some attraction some just sitting and talking as well. So it could be a combination of things. Not saying she lost her attraction to you, because I wouldn't know. The best thing to do is talk to her.

[Always *]

Well, speaking as someone who WAS forced to have sex with an ex, I know how hard that situation can be. And for me, I think it was because I wasn't attracted to him anymore, and instead of having the respect for me that you have for your girlfriend, he would force me to have sex with him... Which is NOT the kind of relationship anyone wants to be in, I would actually consider it abusive...
So, I mean, it's good you've actually tried to talk to her, and aren't being a jerk about it and it is really unfortunate that she is flipping out on you like that. Though, just because for me, it was a loss of attraction, doesn't mean it is like that for her. She could just be stressed out over, I don't know, work, school, a fight with a friend, something that would put her off of being "in the mood". But fact of the matter is, either she'll come around and be more interested or she won't. It's only a matter of time

[MidnightMay]

If I feel like we don't shake it up I don't enjoy it and stop for awhile. If we have a same routine then it gets way way way boring! Try getting new ideas maybe role play. Sometimes you have to shake it up!

[TheCrowing]

Not just that, but sometimes she may need a break. Even if it's just once a week or once every other week.. That's still a lot. Maybe she just needs a break, and maybe you have to show her that you're not just focused on sex. When it comes to a point where it's been months not having sex, then you have a problem.

[Dr.Bobby]

Whoa!

This isn't about you, or her attraction to you, or you being 'boring', or anything else, necessarily. Try to take your ego out of it and you might be able to work with her..and tolerate not getting what you want. Something's going on for her, don't bring your feelings into it just yet. That's why she's snapping at you, you're making this about you, instead of her. You need to find out what's changed, what's wrong.

People's sex habits change a lot, and there are many reasons for this...and ONE of them is you. The rest are about her, or things she's going thru, her life, her feelings, her needs, etc.

I'd take a giant step back here and just be with her and enjoy her as you did before you added sex, and when both of you are back in the swing of just being together and enjoying each other, you can begin to bring up the change. She's aware of it, too, but maybe she's not comfortable discussing whatever personal issues that caused the change and might have absolutely nothing to do with you and your ego.

[dani99]

I beg to differ with all of the above. At first, sex is amazing and wonderful, but over time it may seem like it's too much so it's normal to want to back off a little. I think every other day is a lot of sex, in my personal opinion. I wouldn't want to have sex anymore than once a week myself. Perhaps she feels like your relationship is focused on sex too much, and maybe she wants to have it focused on other things. I believe, though, that once a day is pretty normal.

My boyfriend and I don't have sex at all anymore, because we don't want to risk getting in trouble with our parents and to avoid pregnancy. In the past, we had sex less and less. I wasn't any less attracted to him. I just thought that we had too much sex. Maybe your girlfriend feels the same.

Anyways, communication is important. Tell her that you respect that she doesn't want to have sex as often as in the past. Ask her if she's any less attracted to you, or ask her to explain why she doesn't want it as much, but assure her that you aren't trying to force her or pressure her.