17 & very possibly pregnant. Help?

[Brittany95]

Okay, so I'm almost 18, but I'm totally not ready for a baby. I had sex 3 times this past Labor day (September 2nd) with my now ex-boyfriend. We didn't use a condom at all, I wasnt properly takinf my birth control & he came inside each time. This past week I was supposed to have my period, instead I had extremely light spotting, possibly implantation bleeding? Since maybe Wednesday I've been extremely tired almost all the time, my breasts WERE sore over the weekend, but now just seem fuller. I've been getting heartburn, random headaches and just today started cramping slightly. I started Penicillin maybe 3 weeks ago for my wisdom teeth, so I'm not sure if that's where all of this is coming from or not. I stupidly had sex the like were I was ovulating and to be honest, I'm scared. My ex, Justin, swears he can't get a girl pregnant because he had a fever of like 103 when he was younger, I call bs, but said he'd step up if I am. I'm now dating Alex & he's fully aware that I might be. I'm getting a test today hopefully and will be taking it tomorrow with my first morning pee, but until then; what do you guys think...?

[ruben]

Hi there.

well im not a girl and i don't have experience in this field but i was with my girlfriend when she was pregnant. she only begun to get symptoms after like 1 month so i might think those symptoms you are getting is from the Penicillin . rather wait for the test to see if its positive or negative.(Please note that i may be wrong thus is varies from female to female)

hope to this helped.

[Lizzie]

Since it has only been exactly 14 days since you had sex I recommend you get an early detection test just to be sure you get an accurate read. The test is the only way to know for sure if you are pregnant or not. Those symptoms you listed are not just related to pregnancy, so you can't tell with just symptoms alone. Let us know how the test goes.

[Brittany95]

I wasn't able to get to the store yesterday, but I've contacted my aunt who's a nurse & she's going to pick me up tomorrow morning (if my parents say yes...) and get me a pregnancy test asap. So if I'm able to go tomorrow, I'll have results as well tomorrow to post. Thank you all.

[Brittany95]

Okay so first test showed a faint positive. Second test showed a negative, so since I'd only be about 2 & a half weeks, my aunt's going to get my blood work done because my aunt said sometimes the hcg levels are really low & won't read on a test, so I guess I'll post an update once I get blood work. Not sure when I am though.

A blood serum test is the most accurate way to detect pregnancy early on. Remember that, if you are taking a home test, to test with first morning urine as that contains the highest level of hormones.

Sounds like, if you are pregnant, you have a good support system going on.

If the blood results do come back positive, it will be a good time to talk to your doctor about prenatal vitamins and proper care for yourself and the developing fetus throughout pregnancy.

It sounds like your aunt is willing to support you. You should definitely wait to tell your parents, though. Don't get them involved if you are not actually pregnant. If you are, then you'll have your aunt by your side when you break the news to them.

Good luck!

[Lelola]

How long was the course of the antibiotics? How did you react to them?

[Brittany95]

Skyways and Starlights; My aunt's said that if it shows I'm pregnant, she's bringing me to the doctor asap to get an appointment setup. And I have a feeling my parents already know. I was puking yesterday morning & they mentioned morning sickness, but I brushed it off. I don't plan on saying anything until I get a for sure positive. If I am, I'll be responsible about this.

Sarasa; Maybe a month? I'm not exactly sure lol. And I haven't had any reactions that I can tell. Unless all of the symptoms of pregnancy are symptoms of Penicillin. Come to find out, penicillin can completely cancel out birth control, plus I wasn't taking my b.c. correctly anyways..

Yes, antibiotics do cancel the effects of hormonal birth control. That is why it's best to use condoms for the duration of at antibiotics and up to two weeks after, to be safe. I am very surprised your doctor did not discuss this with you when asking what medications you were on before prescribing the medication.

Regardless of what the results say, it is great that you have some really awesome support. This has got to be a rough time, and I imagine that helps immensely. Try to relax until the results of the blood test come in (I know that's a lot to ask, but it would help things a bit), and go from there.

I would advise extra caution as you've been on antibiotics. And like Jordan said, it's surprising your doctor didn't ask what other medication you were on. There's medicines that work against one another, so that can cause dramatic (even dangerous) side effects.

[Lelola]

I would start using condoms for both of you. Have you had the blood work done yet? I'd also get regular multivitamins and take it with food. Every female of childbearing ages should be taking a multivitamin with folate in it per the US Surgeon General. It helps to decrease birth defects that occur early on before the woman finds out she is pregnant.

Antibiotics make me sick personally. Looking up in the Lexicomp (a program that all of our hospitals use for drug information), it can cause vomiting and diarrhea. Are you still on the antibiotics or did you finish them? Also, I've had one or two incidences where I missed my period when I was on antibiotics due to the reactions to them. However, it wasn't listed as an official adverse effect.

The chances of having a plain fever of 103 as a child causing him to be infertile is unlikely and the chances of him knowing about it at his current age is even slimmer. It used to be more common when mumps was around that males could become infertile (hence why it's important to get the MMR). If he could go into depth with it like "a bad UTI caused me to have a blockage/scarring/whatever" then possibly it may be true. However, I'd lean more towards he was BSing you.

Also, the birth control and antibiotics is overstated. It's more with another antibiotic called rifampin. The reason why many practitioners still say to use an alternate form is more of a safety guard on their part. Using an alternate form of contraception like condoms won't kill a person and that way people can't blame them should they get pregnant on while on the antibiotics. Plus it's kind of silly because all antibiotics do not have the same mechanism of action. Another fear could be too that the person will vomit or have diarrhea which could make the person absorb less of the pills. However, that's not the same thing as saying that antibiotics interfere with hormonal birth control.

[Coffee.]

Your ex doesn't know what he's talking about, a 103 fever would not affect your future fertility. I'm also with Sarasa on remembering to use condoms in the future; make it a requirement. If a guy isn't going to protect you, he's not worth keeping around.

Keep us updated on the status so we can help you address your different options.

[Brittany95]

Okay so according to my birth control I was supposed to have my period last week, and missed it. And now I'm spotting now, like clotting and brownish blood, cramping a lot. Waiting on my aunt to see when I'll be getting the blood work. I had morning sickness the other day. Been nauseous a few mornings. As soon as I know, I'll let you guys know :P

[Brittany95]

Also, kinda asking you guys. If I am, should I tell the father? My aunt & boyfriend were both saying (since he's shown no concern or interest) that I shouldn't tell him and should just wait until they baby's born and file for child support ( since I'll be a single mom at 18).
My aunt said if I am she's going to take me to the health department and help me get on WIC and pregnancy insurance as well as any pregnantal(sp?) vitamins that I'll need.
My issues go a lot farther than the actual pregnancy though. Right now, I live with my father, stepmom, and stepbrother. My stepbrother & father sexually abused me and I refuse to bring a child into this type of household. Also, the Mormon religion is strongly enforced here, and my parents have said I have to go every Sunday if I live here. I personally so not want my child raised in this religion due to personal preference and I was bullied as a child there. I drove out to Illinois in August to get my dog which is now seeming to be a problem. I could move in with my granparents, not sure if I could bring my dog & my grandfather's an aggressive drunk. My boyfriend's family love me to death, but once again, my dog would be an issue. My Aunt Charlotte (2nd aunt involved) has said I could move 3 hours away to live with her on the farm. I'd be 3 hours from my boyfriend though & her dog is dog-aggressive, so I'm not sure. I then have a lady I call Momma Cate, she's fine with my dog & I, and I'm sure she'd help me so it seems that's my best option. I've asked my Aunt Vanessa about helping get out on my own, but a huge problem is I have no car. I could easily get my dog registered as a service dog ( since she is already to me) and that way landlord wouldn't be an issue... I guess my question is do I stay with my dad? I mean, my stepmom owns a family daycare, so we have everything a baby needs, but idk... If I have to leave mydog, I'd trust my dad & stepmom with her. Advice?

[Katie Lydia]

Originally Posted by Brittany95

Also, kinda asking you guys. If I am, should I tell the father? My aunt & boyfriend were both saying (since he's shown no concern or interest) that I shouldn't tell him and should just wait until they baby's born and file for child support ( since I'll be a single mom at 18).
My aunt said if I am she's going to take me to the health department and help me get on WIC and pregnancy insurance as well as any pregnantal(sp?) vitamins that I'll need.
My issues go a lot farther than the actual pregnancy though. Right now, I live with my father, stepmom, and stepbrother. My stepbrother & father sexually abused me and I refuse to bring a child into this type of household. Also, the Mormon religion is strongly enforced here, and my parents have said I have to go every Sunday if I live here. I personally so not want my child raised in this religion due to personal preference and I was bullied as a child there. I drove out to Illinois in August to get my dog which is now seeming to be a problem. I could move in with my granparents, not sure if I could bring my dog & my grandfather's an aggressive drunk. My boyfriend's family love me to death, but once again, my dog would be an issue. My Aunt Charlotte (2nd aunt involved) has said I could move 3 hours away to live with her on the farm. I'd be 3 hours from my boyfriend though & her dog is dog-aggressive, so I'm not sure. I then have a lady I call Momma Cate, she's fine with my dog & I, and I'm sure she'd help me so it seems that's my best option. I've asked my Aunt Vanessa about helping get out on my own, but a huge problem is I have no car. I could easily get my dog registered as a service dog ( since she is already to me) and that way landlord wouldn't be an issue... I guess my question is do I stay with my dad? I mean, my stepmom owns a family daycare, so we have everything a baby needs, but idk... If I have to leave mydog, I'd trust my dad & stepmom with her. Advice?

Woah woah woah, slow down you don't even have definitive proof your pregnant yet! Cross that bridge when you come to it but only you know your family better than the rest of us here, whatever seems like the best option, your Momma Cate and staying with your dad are the winners in my book!

Originally Posted by Brittany95

Okay so according to my birth control I was supposed to have my period last week, and missed it. And now I'm spotting now, like clotting and brownish blood, cramping a lot. Waiting on my aunt to see when I'll be getting the blood work. I had morning sickness the other day. Been nauseous a few mornings. As soon as I know, I'll let you guys know :P

In my opinion that sounds like a period, sounds like MY period. A week in my opinion is still very early to start panicking but go to your doctor/nurse, give them a sample and have them do it and if your positive make sure you get an appointment, prenatal vitamins etc and if negative go on regular birth control, condoms, pill, implant etc. If it is a negative and there is still no sign of your period for a while go back to your doctor and just get checked over.

Hope your ok!

[Brittany95]

Sorry for not updating. I realized how paranoid I was being so I've decided if I miss my period this month, I'll test again. My period's expected in about a week & a half- two weeks. Post more later.

[cherryqueen1248]

It looks like you are handling this in an extremely mature way. It sounds like you have some really great support around you, which is what you should focus on over the negativity. You are going to get through this and you are inspiring me by your strength. PM me if there is anything I can do to help! I've been through this, and wish I could go back and do what you are doing now... being an adult.

[Brittany95]

Well, I missed my period AGAIN this past week. Thursday I got an immediate positive result on a pregnancy test with my Aunt Charlotte. I'll be breaking the news to my parents tomorrow, Sunday. I've decided it's in my benefit and the baby's benefit to move with my Aunt Charlotte, so I'll either be moving this week (with permission) or November 14th when I turn 18. I already called the health department and got my first appointment set up for the 22nd. This explains why my dog has been insisting on sleeping against my side for the past week. I could just tell something was off with my body, guess I was right. This constant discharge is REALLY annoying lol. I think it really hit me last night that I need to step it up (I'm pretty careless with remembering to eat & reckless in daily activities as far as lifting too much goes). I contacted the father and asked to speak in person, no response. So I let him know i'm pregnant and decisions need to be made, no response. So I messages saying that's fine, I'll file for child support when the baby is born and HE can explain to his family and someday his child why he refused to be apartnof his/her life. My boyfriend's still extremely supportive, bless his heart. He insists on me moving in, but I honestly feel that's unfair to him, so we've agree'd not to. Now my big worry is 1) telling my parents, 2) moving out, 3) my first appointment.

Cherryqueen1248; thank you, that means a lot. My Aunt Charlotte got pregnant at 16, giving birth a month after she turned 17, so luckily she's understanding and EXTREMELY helpful. She's now extremely successful and right now I'm looking up to her a lot.

[Lizzie]

I think it’s great that your aunt is being super supportive of you right now. But I think you should wait until after you talk to your parents before you make decisions about moving out. You never know how they might react, they may be super supportive and want you to stay with them. If you just tell them you are leaving without talking to them first, that may really hurt their feelings.

The first appointment will be rather uneventful. They will probably just have you take another pregnancy test to double check. You need to know when the first day of your last period was, so that they can try to determine your due date. They may ask you about your previous medical history and your family medical history. It may be helpful to have a parent with you to if you don’t know a lot about your parents and grandparents medical past. They may take your blood pressure, height, weight and temperature. That’s usually what the first two visits consist of. This will also be done mostly by nurses, you might not even see an OB until the third visit after the pregnancy has been confirmed and all the paper work has been processed.

[Lelola]

First, you kind of dropped a bombshell on him. I would take a step back and let the father process the information before accusing him of not wanting him to be part of the child's life. It can be very emotional and confusing time for a guy, especially if they are no longer with the girl. Also, your reaction could turn him off in wanting to help you at all. Another consideration too is that he may file for his rights meaning he may get visitation. So I strongly recommend you try to remain civil with him for the child's sake. After all, he could be talking to his parents now who may encourage him and even pay for a lawyer to file for his rights. This could even be a bigger fight should he have really thought that he couldn't get a girl pregnant (which probably wasn't the case) since now he has a child on the way. So it is very important you try to remain civil and give him a chance to be in the baby's life.

Also, why do you feel like you need to move out right away? I would wait till you see your parents' reactions and give them time to process it.

[Brittany95]

Let me say this again and only ONE more time. I am LIVING WITH TWO MEN WHO MOLESTED ME.
Does that clear up me moving out? Because seriously, YOU keep your child I'm that environment. I'd rather not. My parents did take it well, in fact, my father is excited. Which scares me more.
As far as Justin (the father goes), he doesn't have any family number one, number two he's not at any place to care for a child. Also, state of Florida does NOT have any grandparents rights. And he had as much time to except it as I did. I've told him from the start that I thought I was.
And even if he DOES file for whatever, I'll be moving out of Brevard County the day after my 18th birthday (November 14th). I'll be moving about 3 hours away to Manatee County, not out of state.
And I'm no doubt pregnant, if you knew me and had been around me this past 2-3 weeks, you'd have no doubt either. All of my family knew before I did.

[Lelola]

Originally Posted by Brittany95

Let me say this again and only ONE more time. I am LIVING WITH TWO MEN WHO MOLESTED ME.
Does that clear up me moving out? Because seriously, YOU keep your child I'm that environment. I'd rather not. My parents did take it well, in fact, my father is excited. Which scares me more.
As far as Justin (the father goes), he doesn't have any family number one, number two he's not at any place to care for a child. Also, state of Florida does NOT have any grandparents rights. And he had as much time to except it as I did. I've told him from the start that I thought I was.
And even if he DOES file for whatever, I'll be moving out of Brevard County the day after my 18th birthday (November 14th). I'll be moving about 3 hours away to Manatee County, not out of state.
And I'm no doubt pregnant, if you knew me and had been around me this past 2-3 weeks, you'd have no doubt either. All of my family knew before I did.

First off, you never said you were living with two men who molested you in this thread. Yes that changes things. Have you ever told your mother that your father molested you if he was one of the men that molested you? This is a large board and you may have covered the topic in another thread but not this one.

I never said his parents would pursue grandparents rights. It's getting rights for the father to allow them to have rights if he does have family. Meaning he fights to get his parents off his back. Still, you need to be careful as I know people who have had crappy boyfriends that knocked them up that later pursued custody. My one friend's horrible ex managed to get shared custody and split time in order to get her to pay child support because she earns more (they alternate weeks).

Also, you may be expected to drive half the distance for a hand off if he does decide to pursue rights. If you decide not to tell him where you move later on if he does have a change of heart, that is not right.

Also, it may not have been real to him till you actually had the test. Some girls do this after a breakup where they think they are pregnant but don't test right a way and then it turns out they aren't pregnant. He may have written you off as trying to keep him. I am not saying you were, just that is something he may have considered.

The way people act does not mean that they are pregnant. Many women do not have symptoms other than missing a period. In fact, many women who are trying to conceive think they have the symptoms of pregnancy and are convinced only to find out that their blood test is negative. In fact that, there is such thing as a false pregnancy. The false pregnancies are rarer now due to chemical pregnancy tests so just saying you're acting like you're pregnant does not mean you are pregnant.

[Lizzie]

She did say that about her stepbrother and father in this thread.

But I was trying to make the point that I don't think you should tell them you are pregnant and are moving out at the same time. I understand why you want to move out, and I think it's great that you have a supportive family member to stay with. I just think you should give them time to process each thing sepetatly, as they are both major changes to the whole family.

[Lelola]

Ok, over a half a month ago.

Also, some things to consider.
How are you going to pay for stuff?
Do you have a job?
What kind of schooling do you think you would pursue?
What happens if you do not agree with whoever you move into?
How long would you stay there?
What help would you expected to do?
What about contributing towards any bills?
What about cellphone? Are you on the family plan?
What about the health insurance? If you have it through your parents, will you lose it? If you're on medicaid, will it continue?
How will you get around? Will whoever you move in with have to drive you around? If you have a car, will you be able to use it after you moved or is it in your parents' name?

I'd recommend getting something in writing for your own legal protection before you move. Too many people have moved in with family members or friends only to wear out their welcome. It'll give both sides an opportunity to bring forth expectations and address potential issues. I'd recommend contributing something even if it is 50 dollars a month.

I would also recommend looking for a job in that area now so you may have one lined up before you move. It's entering the down time of hiring for retail and no one may hire till next March. That is a real possibility. I moved several hours away from my old job a few years ago and couldn't get one till mid-February (then 10 retail stores called me).

Another thing to remember is that if you start a job and have not worked for the company for a year, you will not be entitled to FMLA benefits meaning you cannot take the unpaid pregnancy leave if they do not want to let you take it. Meaning you may be returning to work very early or even possibly the same week if you want to keep the job you have.

Health insurance is something you should figure out now so that way if you do not have it when you move, you can try to figure out Obamacare or go through the state.

Will you have transportation? Even if you bought the car yourself, chances are it would be in your parents' name. Would there be an issue trying to transfer it to your name when you turn 18 and try to move? How will you afford insurance on the car? Same with cellphone. Will your parents shut it off if it is in their name in anger or report the phone stolen?

[hopefuldreamer]

I hope you get yourself into a good environment .for both you and the baby. I hope your pregnancy goes well. You do have a lot to think about as far as finances and support go, but I think you will figure it out. If you need anyone to talk to feel free to message me