What to do if you become pregnant

[Eternal]

I haven't written an article in awhile. I noticed the Pregnancy & Childcare section is pretty sparse. I was thinking about writing an article about what to do if you find out you're pregnant. I plan on writing about how to talk to the father and how to tell your parents. I'm also thinking about writing about how to cope and maybe the options you have? Any other ideas before I start writing up a draft?

[hocus pocus]

I like this idea, it'll make a good article. The only thing I can think to add is to maybe write about making sure you're really pregnant because there are a lot of pregnancy scares and you might be able to link this article in somewhere too.

I think that's a great idea, Nicole! I think maybe adding when it's possible to get pregnant and when it's not during sexual intercourse. Also add something about the lifespan of an ejaculation, you know what I mean?

[Always *]

In addition to making sure you're really pregnant, and how you can actually get pregnant (like that without penetration it's extremely unlikely seems to be a big one), I would like to add that it would be good to talk about when tests work (2 weeks after), symptoms, and that sort of thing.

It might be worth adding that you can tell people in whatever order you want, it might be best friend - mom - boyfriend, or therapist, or the total opposite. For example, my best friend told me before she told her boyfriend because she thought maybe she wanted an abortion because she was scared and didn't thik she could do it and I said I'd support that be there for her but that if she saw a future with her boyfriend she probably shouldn't keep something that big from him so I suggested she tell him first, but that if she really wanted an abortion that she should be clear about wanting that and that it's her choice and go from there. She ended up changing her mind and keeping the baby, her boyfriend is an amazing dad and their getting married so of course it worked out for her, but not everyone will want to change their minds and, as such, I some times feel like talking to someone else who will be emotionally invested is scary for some people who are unsure and therefore talking to a level headed friend can be a really good help.

[Eternal]

I'm going to write this up tomorrow, but I just wanted to say I don't want to get too into *how* pregnancy occurs as I have already written an article on that. I'd rather this stay focused on what to do when you are positive you are pregnant.

Could you add a note to refer to the article you've already written? Or just a little refresher in the intro without going into too much detail?

[Storyteller.]

I really like this idea! I think in P&C we tend to focus a lot on the "whether you're pregnant" and not enough on the "what happens when you are". Maybe you could include something on what to do if you and the father have different options (for example one wants to keep the baby and the other doesn't)? Or even what to do if you and the father aren't actually together/you're with someone else, if that makes sense? Those are just suggestions though, feel free to take or leave them as you please.

[Eternal]

This is a very rough draft and I can definitely expand more but I wanted to get a basic structure out so I can get some suggestions. I definitely want to stress the importance of considering your finances as readers will likely be teenagers relying on parents. I wanted to find a source showing the average cost of raising a child but I'm not sure where to insert that in this article or whether that may be too off-putting if that makes sense? I'm trying to keep this article very neutral and I don't want to seem like I'm suggesting that any options are better than others.

What to do if you become pregnant
By Nicole (eumoirous)

Discovering that you have become pregnant can be a very scary and overwhelming experience. Who do you tell first? What are your options? What will your parents think? The best thing to do is break this up into steps and tackle one thing at a time. Most importantly, remember that no matter what you decide, it is going to be okay.

Telling the father
While it does not matter who you decide to tell first that you have become pregnant, telling the father of your child is very important. It is best to do so as soon as possible after you confirm that you are pregnant as you two should work together to decide what your plan of action is. Even if you and the father are no longer together, it can still be crucial to reach out and get his support. If you don't think he will want to be involved, he still deserves to know that he has a child on the way.

Telling your parents
Telling your parents can be the most nerve-wracking part of this experience. The best way to tell them is to be upfront and honest. Let them know that you need their support and, if you have figured out a plan of action, tell them what it entails to show them you are handling this maturely. It is also okay to ask for their advice, however. Your parents are there to guide you. If possible, it can be a good idea to have the father present as well when you tell your parents. That way you can all have a discussion about what each person wants to have happen next, and decide what the best plan is for you.

Telling your friends
Telling your close friends is a great way to obtain support during this experience. They can be people you can confide in and vent to, and they can help you carefully weigh your options. You may be afraid of what they will think of you once you tell them, but if they are real friends they won't look down on you and will be there to help in any way they can. However, you also do not have to feel inclined to tell your friends if you wish to keep this private.

Weighing your options
There are a lot of options for when you are pregnant, and it may be overwhelming. Ultimately, the decision should be up to you as you are the one carrying the child, however it is also important to consider factors such as independence and financial stability.

Three of the most common options for pregnancy include:

• Keeping your child and raising it yourself. Many people decide to keep the baby due to religious reasons, or because they have the means of taking care of the child. Some factors to consider if you are wanting to keep the child is whether you can afford all of the expenses, whether your parents are okay with having a newborn in their home and if they are willing to help, and whether you have to change future plans such as going to college or career choices.
• Putting your child up for adoption. This is also a good option as many parents looking to adopt would allow you to still see your child. Often times, adopting parents would also pay the medical bills when you deliver your child. Factors to consider are whether you would be able to part with your child upon delivery, and whether you would be okay with having limited visitation.
• Abortion. Abortion laws vary by state, and can only be conducted early in the pregnancy. The main factor to consider are the cost and any negative psychological effects that may occur after the procedure.

Conflict
In many cases, what you decide to do and what the father or your parents want can be different. If this should occur, it is beneficial for you all to sit down and each have a turn to voice your concerns. You could all come up with a list of pros and cons for each option to better weigh your options. While the mother of the child should have the most say, if you are still living with your parents and are dependent on them, they should get to weigh in on the decision. For example, they may not have the funds for you to keep the child and raise it, or they may not have room in their house for another person. They may also know a couple looking to adopt that would allow you to still see your child, and so they may think adoption is the best option. Remember that you do not have to rush and make a decision right away; it’s okay to take your time if you are very conflicted.

Discovering you are pregnant can be a joyful experience, but it can also create a lot of anxiety. All three options you have can be viable, and there is no choice that is better than another. What is most important is to make the choice that you feel is best for you.

[hocus pocus]

I like what you have written so far! You said you want to expand on this, so I'm not going to make any edits yet, though I do have a few suggestions.

I think it might be helpful for you to talk a little about what to do if you don't know who the father is. I don't know what can be done in that situation, if anything, but it might be helpful to mention it somewhere.

Another thing that could be mentioned is how to tell people in your life, whether it's your parents, friends, or the father. You do talk about telling them but some tips on how to go about it since it causes a lot of anxiety might help. Edit: I forgot that you did include tips on how to tell them. Since you're aiming this toward teens, you might want to mention how to deal with any kind of bullying at school in regards to the pregnancy.

I also thought of discussing becoming pregnant from rape. I've seen some posts about that lately, though this might be better suited to its own article. I'm just kind of thinking aloud with this suggestion.

I definitely think you could find a statistic with the average cost per year of a baby. I think that will come across as more informative, rather than making it seem like one option is better than another. If you need help finding something on it, I can look around.

[Eternal]

What to do if you become pregnant
By Nicole (eumoirous)

Discovering that you have become pregnant can be a very scary and overwhelming experience. Who do you tell first? What are your options? What will your parents think? The best thing to do is break this up into steps and tackle one thing at a time. Most importantly, remember that no matter what you decide, it is going to be okay.

Telling the father
While it does not matter who you decide to tell first that you have become pregnant, telling the father of your child is very important. It is best to do so as soon as possible after you confirm that you are pregnant as you two should work together to decide what your plan of action is. Even if you and the father are no longer together, it can still be crucial to reach out and get his support. If you don't think he will want to be involved, he still deserves to know that he has a child on the way.

In the case where you do not know who the father is, you should contact anyone who could potentially be the father and still let them know. You can decide whether to take a paternity test after the baby is born if you and potential fathers so choose. If the pregnancy occurred because of rape, you do not have to contact the father if you do not want to. In this case, your safety and well-being is what is most important.

Telling your parents
Telling your parents can be the most nerve-wracking part of this experience. The best way to tell them is to be upfront and honest. Let them know that you need their support and, if you have figured out a plan of action, tell them what it entails to show them you are handling this maturely. It is also okay to ask for their advice, however. Your parents are there to guide you. If possible, it can be a good idea to have the father present as well when you tell your parents. That way you can all have a discussion about what each person wants to have happen next, and decide what the best plan is for you. Having the father or a friend with you can ease anxiety when telling your parents as well.

Telling your friends
Telling your close friends is a great way to obtain support during this experience. They can be people you can confide in and vent to, and they can help you carefully weigh your options. You may be afraid of what they will think of you once you tell them, but if they are real friends they won't look down on you and will be there to help in any way they can. However, you also do not have to feel inclined to tell your friends if you wish to keep this private. There is no right or wrong way to tell your friends that you are pregnant, however being direct is always the best way. Let them know how you are feeling about it, and how they can help you. If bullying at school should occur, your friends can be a great support system so you do not have to sacrifice your education.

Weighing your options
There are a lot of options for when you are pregnant, and it may be overwhelming. Ultimately, the decision should be up to you as you are the one carrying the child, however it is also important to consider factors such as independence and financial stability.

Three of the most common options for pregnancy include:

• Keeping your child and raising it yourself. Many people decide to keep the baby due to religious reasons, or because they have the means of taking care of the child. Some factors to consider if you are wanting to keep the child is whether you can afford all of the expenses, whether your parents are okay with having a newborn in their home and if they are willing to help, and whether you have to change future plans such as going to college or career choices.
• Putting your child up for adoption. This is also a good option as many parents looking to adopt would allow you to still see your child. Often times, adopting parents would also pay the medical bills when you deliver your child. Factors to consider are whether you would be able to part with your child upon delivery, and whether you would be okay with having limited visitation.
• Abortion. Abortion laws vary by state, and can only be conducted early in the pregnancy. The main factor to consider are the cost and any negative psychological effects that may occur after the procedure.

Finances are definitely a big factor to consider when making your decision, and many people do not know how much raising a child actually costs. According to CNN Money, the average cost of raising a child in the United States of America up to age 18 is $245,340. Additionally, WebMD notes that prenatal care alone can cost up to $2,000. Supplies such as a crib, high chair, car seat, diapers, etc. can also be expensive.

Conflict
In many cases, what you decide to do and what the father or your parents want can be different. If this should occur, it is beneficial for you all to sit down and each have a turn to voice your concerns. You could all come up with a list of pros and cons for each option to better weigh your options. While the mother of the child should have the most say, if you are still living with your parents and are dependent on them, they should get to weigh in on the decision. For example, they may not have the funds for you to keep the child and raise it, or they may not have room in their house for another person. They may also know a couple looking to adopt that would allow you to still see your child, and so they may think adoption is the best option. Remember that you do not have to rush and make a decision right away; it’s okay to take your time if you are very conflicted.

Discovering you are pregnant can be a joyful experience, but it can also create a lot of anxiety. All three options you have can be viable, and there is no choice that is better than another. What is most important is to make the choice that you feel is best for you and your baby.

[Storyteller.]

What to do if you become pregnant
By Nicole (eumoirous)

Discovering that you have become pregnant can be a very scary and overwhelming experience. [I would recommend adding a line in here like "You may have many questions and be confused about which ones to answer instantly" or "Many questions may arise and it can be difficult to know which ones to deal with right away", just as a lead-on to the next few sentences.] Who do you tell first? What are your options? What will your parents think? The best thing to do is break this up into steps and tackle one thing at a time. Most importantly, remember that no matter what you decide, it is going to be okay. [I feel like this is a little, I don't know, wishy-washy? Maybe you could make a it a bit more detailed, such as "... there are always avenues of support and you will always have options." I get that you're trying to be reassuring, but in my mind it doesn't really fit with the tone of the article.]

Telling the father
While it does not matter who you decide to tell first that you have become pregnant, telling the father of your child is very important. It is best to do so as soon as possible after you confirm that you are pregnant as you two should work together to decide what your plan of action is. Even if you and the father are no longer together, it can still be crucial to reach out and get his support. If you don't think he will want to be involved, he still deserves to know that he has a child on the way.

In the case where you do not know who the father is, you should contact anyone who could potentially be the father and still let them know. You can decide whether to take a paternity test after the baby is born if you and potential fathers so choose. If the pregnancy occurred because of rape, you do not have to contact the father if you do not want to. In this case, your safety and well-being is what is most important.

Telling your parents
Telling your parents can be the most nerve-wracking part of this experience. The best way to tell them is to be upfront and honest. Let them know that you need their support and, if you have figured out a plan of action, tell them what it entails to show them you are handling this maturely. It is also okay to ask for their advice, however. [In formal writing it's not usually a good idea to end a sentence with a conjunction.] Your parents are there to guide you. If possible, it can be a good idea to have the father present as well when you tell your parents. That way you can all have a discussion about what each person wants to have happen next, and decide what the best plan is for you. Having the father or a friend with you can ease anxiety when telling your parents as well. [I'm wondering whether it might be a good idea to make this more inclusive, for example by mentioning "parents or guardians", for those who may not live with their parents.]

Telling your friends
Telling your close friends is a great way to obtain support during this experience. They can be people you can confide in and vent to, and they can help you carefully weigh your options. You may be afraid of what they will think of you once you tell them, but if they are real friends they won't look down on you and will be there to help in any way they can. However, you also do not have to feel inclined obligated to tell your friends if you wish to keep this private. There is no right or wrong way to tell your friends that you are pregnant, however being direct is always the best way. [This seems a bit contradictory given the "no right or wrong way" bit.] Let them know how you are feeling about it, and how they can help you. If bullying at school should occur, your friends can be a great support system so you do not have to sacrifice your education.

Weighing your options
There are a lot of options for when you are pregnant, and it may be overwhelming. Ultimately, the decision should be up to you as you are the one carrying the child, however it is also important to consider factors such as independence and financial stability.

Three of the most common options for pregnancy include:

• Keeping your child and raising it yourself. Many people decide to keep the baby due to religious reasons, or because they have the means of taking care of the child. Some factors to consider if you are wanting to keep the child is are whether you can afford all of the expenses, whether your parents are okay with having a newborn in their home and if they are willing to help, and whether you have to change future plans such as going to college or career choices.
• Putting your child up for adoption. This is also a good [Maybe rephrase to "valid" or something similar to keep the neutral tone?] option as many parents looking to adopt would allow you to still see your child. Often times, adopting parents would also pay the medical bills when you deliver your child. Factors to consider are whether you would be able to part with your child upon delivery, and whether you would be okay with having limited visitation.
• Abortion. Abortion laws vary by state, [Again, might want to be inclusive by mentioning that it varies by country, and can also vary between states/territories within those.] and the procedure can only be conducted early in the pregnancy. The main factors to consider are the cost and any negative psychological effects that may occur after the procedure.

Finances are definitely a big factor to consider when making your decision, and many people do not know how much raising a child actually costs. According to CNN Money, the average cost of raising a child in the United States of America up to age 18 is $245,340. Additionally, WebMD notes that prenatal care alone can cost up to $2,000. Supplies such as a crib, high chair, car seat, diapers, etc. can also be expensive.

Conflict
In many cases, what you decide to do and what the father or your parents want can be different. If this should occur, it is beneficial for you all to sit down and each have a turn to voice your concerns. You could all come up with a list of pros and cons for each option to better weigh your options. While the mother of the child should have the most say, if you are still living with your parents and are dependent on them, they should get to weigh in on the decision. For example, they may not have the funds for you to keep the child and raise it, or they may not have room in their house for another person. They may also know a couple looking to adopt that would allow you to still see your child, and so they may think adoption is the best option. Remember that you do not have to rush and make a decision right away; it’s okay to take your time if you are very conflicted.

Discovering you are pregnant can be a joyful experience, but it can also create a lot of anxiety. All three options you have can be viable, and there is no choice that is better than another. What is most important is to make the choice that you feel is best for you and your baby.

[Eternal]

What to do if you become pregnant
By Nicole (eumoirous)

Discovering that you have become pregnant can be a very scary and overwhelming experience. Many questions may arise and it can be difficult to know which ones to deal with right away. Who do you tell first? What are your options? What will your parents think? The best thing to do is break this up into steps and tackle one thing at a time. Most importantly, remember that no matter what you decide, there are always avenues of support and you will always have options.

Telling the father
While it does not matter who you decide to tell first that you have become pregnant, telling the father of your child is very important. It is best to do so as soon as possible after you confirm that you are pregnant as you two should work together to decide what your plan of action is. Even if you and the father are no longer together, it can still be crucial to reach out and get his support. If you don't think he will want to be involved, he still deserves to know that he has a child on the way.

In the case where you do not know who the father is, you should contact anyone who could potentially be the father and still let them know. You can decide whether to take a paternity test after the baby is born if you and potential fathers so choose. If the pregnancy occurred because of rape, you do not have to contact the father if you do not want to. In this case, your safety and well-being is what is most important.

Telling your parents or guardians
Telling your parents or guardians can be the most nerve-wracking part of this experience. The best way to tell them is to be upfront and honest. Let them know that you need their support and, if you have figured out a plan of action, tell them what it entails to show them you are handling this maturely. It is also okay to ask for their advice if you are unsure about what your next steps should be; your parents or guardians are there to guide you. If possible, it can be a good idea to have the father present as well when you tell them. That way you can all have a discussion about what each person wants to have happen next, and decide what the best plan is for you. Having the father or a friend with you can ease anxiety when telling your parents as well.

Telling your friends
Telling your close friends is a great way to obtain support during this experience. They can be people you can confide in and vent to, and they can help you carefully weigh your options. You may be afraid of what they will think of you once you tell them, but if they are real friends they won't look down on you and will be there to help in any way they can. However, you also do not have to feel obligated to tell your friends if you wish to keep this private. There is no right or wrong way to tell your friends that you are pregnant, however being direct is an efficient way to communicate. Let them know how you are feeling about it, and how they can help you. If bullying at school should occur, your friends can be a great support system so you do not have to sacrifice your education.

Weighing your options
There are a lot of options for when you are pregnant, and it may be overwhelming. Ultimately, the decision should be up to you as you are the one carrying the child, however it is also important to consider factors such as independence and financial stability.

Three of the most common options for pregnancy include:

• Keeping your child and raising it yourself. Many people decide to keep the baby due to religious reasons, or because they have the means of taking care of the child. Some factors to consider if you are wanting to keep the child are whether you can afford all of the expenses, whether your parents are okay with having a newborn in their home and if they are willing to help, and whether you have to change future plans such as going to college or career choices.
• Putting your child up for adoption. This is also a valid option as many parents looking to adopt would allow you to still see your child. Often, adopting parents would also pay the medical bills when you deliver your child. Factors to consider are whether you would be able to part with your child upon delivery, and whether you would be okay with having limited visitation.
• Abortion. Abortion laws vary by country and state, and the procedure can only be conducted early in the pregnancy. The main factors to consider are the cost and any negative psychological effects that may occur after the procedure.

Finances are definitely a big factor to consider when making your decision, and many people do not know how much raising a child actually costs. According to CNN Money, the average cost of raising a child in the United States of America up to age 18 is $245,340. Additionally, WebMD notes that prenatal care alone can cost up to $2,000. Supplies such as a crib, high chair, car seat, diapers, etc. can also be expensive.

Conflict
In many cases, what you decide to do and what the father or your parents want can be different. If this should occur, it is beneficial for you all to sit down and each have a turn to voice your concerns. You could all come up with a list of pros and cons for each option to better weigh your options. While the mother of the child should have the most say, if you are still living with your parents and are dependent on them, they should get to weigh in on the decision. For example, they may not have the funds for you to keep the child and raise it, or they may not have room in their house for another person. They may also know a couple looking to adopt that would allow you to still see your child, and so they may think adoption is the best option. Remember that you do not have to rush and make a decision right away; it’s okay to take your time if you are very conflicted.

Discovering you are pregnant can be a joyful experience, but it can also create a lot of anxiety. All three options you have can be viable, and there is no choice that is better than another. What is most important is to make the choice that you feel is best for you and your baby.

[Halcyon]

This is great, Nicole! Just a few minor suggestions.

What to do if you become pregnant
By Nicole (eumoirous)

Discovering that you have become are pregnant can be a very scary and overwhelming experience. [Haley: Just feels that it reads better, but feel free to ignore.] Many questions may arise and it can be difficult to know which ones to deal with right away. Who do you tell first? What are your options? What will your parents think? The best thing to do is break this up into steps and tackle one thing at a time. Most importantly, remember that no matter what you decide, there are always avenues of support and you will always have options.

Telling the father
While it does not matter who you decide to tell first that you have become pregnant, telling the father of your child is very important. It is best to do so as soon as possible after you confirm that you are pregnant, as you two should both work together to decide what your plan of action is. Even if you and the father are no longer together, it can still be crucial to reach out and get his support. If you don't think he will want to be involved, he still deserves to know that he has a child on the way.

In the case where you do not know who the father is, you should contact anyone who could potentially be the father and still let them know. You can decide whether to take a paternity test after the baby is born, if you and potential fathers so choose. If the pregnancy occurred because of rape, you do not have to contact the father if you do not want to. In this case, your safety and well-being is what is most important.

Telling your parents or guardians
Telling your parents or guardians can be the most nerve-wracking part of this experience. The best way to tell them is to be upfront and honest. Let them know that you need their support and, if you have figured out a plan of action, tell them what it entails to show them you are handling this maturely. It is also okay to ask for their advice if you are unsure about what your next steps should be; your parents or guardians are there to guide you. If possible, it can be a good idea to have the father present as well when you tell them. That way you can all have a discussion about what each person wants to have happen next, and decide what the best plan is for you. Having the father or a friend with you can ease anxiety when telling your parents as well.

Telling your friends
Telling your close friends is a great way to obtain support during this experience. They can be people you can confide in and vent to, and they can help you carefully weigh your options. You may be afraid of what they will think of you once you tell them, but if they are real friends they won't look down on you and will be there to help in any way they can. However, you also do not have to feel obligated to tell your friends if you wish to keep this private. There is no right or wrong way to tell your friends that you are pregnant, however being direct is an efficient way to communicate. Let them know how you are feeling about it, and how they can help you. If bullying at school should occur, your friends can be a great support system so you do not have to sacrifice your education.

Weighing your options
There are a lot of options for when you are pregnant, and it may be overwhelming. Ultimately, the decision should be up to you as you are the one carrying the child,; however, it is also important to consider factors such as independence and financial stability.

Three of the most common options for pregnancy include:

• Keeping your child and raising it yourself. Many people decide to keep the baby due to religious reasons, or because they have the means of taking care of the child. Some factors to consider if you are wanting to keep the child are whether you can afford all of the expenses, whether your parents are okay with having a newborn in their home and if they are willing to help, and whether you have to change future plans such as going to college or career choices. [Haley: I feel that the part in red makes the sentence very long, when it's already mentioned in italics.]
• Putting your child up for adoption. This is also a valid option as many parents looking to adopt would allow you to still see your child. Often, adopting parents would also pay the medical bills when you deliver your child. Factors to consider are whether you would be able to part with your child upon delivery, and whether you would be okay with having limited visitation.
• Abortion. Abortion laws vary by country and state, and the procedure can only be conducted early in the pregnancy. The main factors to consider are the cost and any negative psychological effects that may occur after the procedure.

Finances are definitely a big factor to consider when making your decision, and many people do not know how much raising a child actually costs. According to CNN Money, the average cost of raising a child in the United States of America up to age 18 is $245,340. Additionally, WebMD notes that prenatal care alone can cost up to $2,000. Supplies such as a crib, high chair, car seat, diapers, etc. can also be expensive.

Conflict
In many cases, what you decide to do and what the father or your parents want can be different. If this should occur, it is beneficial for you all to sit down and each have a turn to voice your concerns. You could all come up with a list of pros and cons for each option to better weigh your options. While the mother of the child should have the most say, if you are still living with your parents and are dependent on them, they should get to weigh in on the decision. For example, they may not have the funds for you to keep the child and raise it, or they may not have room in their house for another person. They may also know a couple looking to adopt that would allow you to still see your child, and so they may think adoption is the best option. Remember that you do not have to rush and make a decision right away; it’s okay to take your time if you are very conflicted.

Discovering you are pregnant can be a joyful experience, but it can also create a lot of anxiety. All three options you have can be viable, and there is no choice that is better than another. What is most important is to make the choice that you feel is best for you and your baby.

[Eternal]

What to do if you become pregnant
By Nicole (eumoirous)

Discovering that you are pregnant can be a very scary and overwhelming experience. Many questions may arise and it can be difficult to know which ones to deal with right away. Who do you tell first? What are your options? What will your parents think? The best thing to do is break this up into steps and tackle one thing at a time. Most importantly, remember that no matter what you decide, there are always avenues of support and you will always have options.

Telling the father
While it does not matter who you decide to tell first that you have become pregnant, telling the father of your child is very important. It is best to do so as soon as possible after you confirm that you are pregnant, as you should both work together to decide what your plan of action is. Even if you and the father are no longer together, it can still be crucial to reach out and get his support. If you don't think he will want to be involved, he still deserves to know that he has a child on the way.

In the case where you do not know who the father is, you should contact anyone who could potentially be the father and still let them know. You can decide whether to take a paternity test after the baby is born, if you and potential fathers so choose. If the pregnancy occurred because of rape, you do not have to contact the father if you do not want to. In this case, your safety and well-being is what is most important.

Telling your parents or guardians
Telling your parents or guardians can be the most nerve-wracking part of this experience. The best way to tell them is to be upfront and honest. Let them know that you need their support and, if you have figured out a plan of action, tell them what it entails to show them you are handling this maturely. It is also okay to ask for their advice if you are unsure about what your next steps should be; your parents or guardians are there to guide you. If possible, it can be a good idea to have the father present when you tell them. That way you can all have a discussion about what each person wants to have happen next, and decide what the best plan is for you. Having the father or a friend with you can ease anxiety when telling your parents as well.

Telling your friends
Telling your close friends is a great way to obtain support during this experience. They can be people you can confide in and vent to, and they can help you carefully weigh your options. You may be afraid of what they will think of you once you tell them, but if they are real friends they won't look down on you and will be there to help in any way they can. However, you also do not have to feel obligated to tell your friends if you wish to keep this private. There is no right or wrong way to tell your friends that you are pregnant, however being direct is an efficient way to communicate. Let them know how you are feeling about it, and how they can help you. If bullying at school should occur, your friends can be a great support system so you do not have to sacrifice your education.

Weighing your options
There are a lot of options for when you are pregnant, and it may be overwhelming. Ultimately, the decision should be up to you as you are the one carrying the child; however, it is also important to consider factors such as independence and financial stability.

Three of the most common options for pregnancy include:

• Keeping your child and raising it yourself. Many people decide to keep the baby due to religious reasons, or because they have the means of taking care of the child. Some factors to consider are whether you can afford all of the expenses, whether your parents are okay with having a newborn in their home and if they are willing to help, and whether you have to change future plans such as going to college or career choices.
• Putting your child up for adoption. This is also a valid option as many parents looking to adopt would allow you to still see your child. Often, adopting parents would also pay the medical bills when you deliver your child. Factors to consider are whether you would be able to part with your child upon delivery, and whether you would be okay with having limited visitation.
• Abortion. Abortion laws vary by country and state, and the procedure can only be conducted early in the pregnancy. The main factors to consider are the cost and any negative psychological effects that may occur after the procedure.

Finances are definitely a big factor to consider when making your decision, and many people do not know how much raising a child actually costs. According to CNN Money, the average cost of raising a child in the United States of America up to age 18 is $245,340. Additionally, WebMD notes that prenatal care alone can cost up to $2,000. Supplies such as a crib, high chair, car seat, diapers, etc. can also be expensive.

Conflict
In many cases, what you decide to do and what the father or your parents want can be different. If this should occur, it is beneficial for you all to sit down and each have a turn to voice your concerns. You could all come up with a list of pros and cons for each option to better weigh your options. While the mother of the child should have the most say, if you are still living with your parents and are dependent on them, they should get to weigh in on the decision. For example, they may not have the funds for you to keep the child and raise it, or they may not have room in their house for another person. They may also know a couple looking to adopt that would allow you to still see your child, and so they may think adoption is the best option. Remember that you do not have to rush and make a decision right away; it’s okay to take your time if you are very conflicted.

Discovering you are pregnant can be a joyful experience, but it can also create a lot of anxiety. All three options you have can be viable, and there is no choice that is better than another. What is most important is to make the choice that you feel is best for you and your baby.

[hocus pocus]

This article has been published.