Boyfriend wants to move in with his best girlfriend.

[Lion Heart]

So my boyfriend has been bestfriends with this girl since elementary school. He used to have a huge crush on her and in high school they considered dating then desided against it. They get into fights really easily dont always see eye to eye but they get along really well and care deeply for eachother.

The reason he wants to move in is because he is in college and would like to pay less rent in order to be able to save more money, which I am extremely suportive of.

He says nothing would happen with her and that they arnt meant for eachother, how ever I can see something happening easily. :/ I am really uncomfortable and am wondering what you all think. Thanks!

[Dark-and-Twisty]

I can see where you're coming from, but as a girl whose best friend is a guy whom I'll never be more than friends with, I can see your boyfriend's perspective too.

The question comes down to trust. You've got to trust him. The truth of the matter is, guys and girls can be just friends. If he's truly faithful, then he won't do anything with her. If he does do something with her, then he obviously doesn't care about you and you should get rid of him asap. Like I said, it all boils down to trust. He should be able to live with her and have your trust, in my honest opinion.

[Skeleton]

I agree with the above. Guys and girls can be just friends and they can stay that way. If they've been friends so long and they considered a relationship etc but decided against it, then I think it's safe to say that nothing will happen. They've been there, they had the chance and they knew that it wouldn't work so why would moving in together change that? You need to trust him.

[Ambiance]

I actually disagree with each of these; why can't he move in with one of his guy-friends to save money? It's not about trust, it comes down to the fact that it's innappropriate and lots of situations involving any of the three of you being uncomfortable could arise, and it's hard to imagine why it would be worth that. It would make a little more sense if he or she had been casually living with different roommates for a while, but it doesn't sound like that's the case.

[Koharuchan]

I'm actually with ambiance on this one too. I thought about this thread for quite some time, and put myself in that situation. Honestly, as much as I love and trust my boyfriend, I just don't think I'd be comfortable with him living with another girl. It might be a little different if she and I were close and I knew her well, but from the way you worded your post I'm assuming you don't personally know her all too well. Therefore, you can't really trust her. In this situation it's not really about whether or not you trust your boyfriend, it's about whether or not you trust his friend, and if you're okay with this. You are allowed to voice your opinion, and tell your boyfriend how you're feeling about this. I'm sure he'll be able to understand where you're coming from and why you're feeling this way, and hopefully you two can talk about it and you can come to a compromise.

[Dark-and-Twisty]

If he's known her since elementary school, though, I'm assuming he's known her longer than you. In the case, they had their chance. If something were going to happen between them, it would have already happened. Yes, you're allowed to voice your opinion, but honestly if I were in this situation and my boyfriend told me I couldn't live with my best guy friend, I'd probably dump my boyfriend to be honest. You might think this seems harsh, but one, I know my friend will be there for me longer than any boyfriend (unless, of course, he becomes my husband) because at this point in my life, chances are I'll have known my best friend longer than any future boyfriend of mine. Now if I were in a situation where I had to choose to live with my boyfriend or my best guy friend, that'd be different, I'd choose my boyfriend - obviously.

I don't know his situation, but considering he wants to move in with a close female friend, I'm assuming he doesn't have a lot of close guy friends, or perhaps his guy friends aren't looking to move at this point. If that's the honest case, and she's the only one available, it would be selfish of you to prevent him from saving money in this situation.

This is a tricky subject, and many people have different opinions when it comes to this subject. I guess it's just so easy for me to accept guys and girls living together who are dating separate people because I honestly don't hang out with a lot of girls, and the guy I happen to hang out with the most has a girlfriend, and his girlfriend has no issue with us hanging out together/sleeping in the same apartment, considering she made the choice to move 2000 miles away from him. Why doesn't she have an issue? She trusts him.

You can say "but I don't trust her." It takes two for anything to happen. What's she gonna do? Molest him while he's sleeping? Slip something in his milk in the refrigerator? Doubtful. If something were going to happen between them, it would happen with or without them living together, especially if they're as close as you say they are.

[emilyjaynescott]

Hey,

I have to agree with the majority on this one. During my third year at university I lived with my two best friends at the time, one was a guy and the other was a girl. The guy had a girlfriend at the time, but it didn't cause any problems because none of us were interested in each other.
I can understand your dilemma, but I would suggest getting to know his friend more. Because I'm sure if you knew her, you'd feel a lot more comfortable about it. Guys and girls can easily be friends, and you said they've known each other for a really long time. Don't give him an ultimatum, or tell him to choose, because it could end up really badly for you. Not because he doesn't love you, but because she's his best friend, they've known each other for a long time, and there's a steady friendship/source of support there.
Just talk to him about it.