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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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Unhappy How do I get over them? - May 14th 2021, 08:10 PM

I've fallen in deep love with my best friend but I know they will never love me back in that way for many reasons. We plan to stay friends for the rest of our lives so I don't know how I'm going to cope with this for all that time. I can't tell them because I know it'll ruin or at least change our friendship and I don't want that. But it's eating me up inside knowing my feelings will never be returned and it's really taking a massive toll on my mental state, when I'm already struggling as it is.
I've never been this in love before. I've had crushes, and been attracted to people, but this is a hundred times stronger and worse. They're everything to me. I want to marry them. And I never will. And I know I should just accept it, but it's kind of hard. People usually say you should distance yourself to fall out of love with people, but I can't distance myself from them. We rely on eachother so much, theyre everything to me, I can't just stop talking to them.

I don't know what to do. I guess I should just try really hard to pretend I don't feel that way. But it just sucks. I always wanted to know how real love felt like and now I want out.


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Re: How do I get over them? - May 15th 2021, 08:51 PM

To be honest, I don't really think there is any one real good answer a person could give you. The situation you're in regardless of the choice you make will hurt you either way. I think it boils down to what do you want more...

For them to know the truth and see how it goes.
To keep things inside just so you can be best friends with them.
To distance yourself and have them wonder what went wrong.

There is no good answer here, only what you want more.

What makes you say they will never love you back for many reasons? Have you considered asking them how they feel about their stance on relationships and falling in love?

You could make up a hypothetical situation in which you have a friend (you) who has fallen deeply in love with their best friend (your friend) and you don't know how to help them. You could ask their advice and support. Maybe consider asking if it were to happen to them (your friend) what would they do to help resolve the situation. This may help clear things up for you.
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Re: How do I get over them? - November 8th 2021, 10:36 AM

If there is an opportunity to remain friends, then it is better to do so. It is better not to lose friends, since they are hard to find.
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