End a relationship?

[TH Anonymous]

[SIZE="a"]I've been living with my boyfriend for half a year and there are some things I like in him, and I feel I like him in general, but I know this relationship is not good for me.

He's not sociable at all, and I think that if I was with a more sociable person it would be easier to go out, make friends etc. Currently I don't have any friends here and we don't go anywhere, just staying at home all the time.

Another thing is that he's very unambitious, doesn't feel the need to get higher education, doesn't want to learn the language of my country where we're living etc. He spends all of his free time watching something or playing on the computer. I like playing games too but not all the time, I study a lot and like to learn new things and grow. I don't want to be with a person that doesn't want to develop in any way.


I told him all this but I think he doesn't understand. He says I am over-ambitious. Additionally, I tried telling him a couple times that I feel like ending this relationship; I did once and then I started crying uncontrollably and there was no much conversation afterwards.


There are moments when I am sure I will tell him, but then I come to our apartment, see him in front of me and I cannot bear myself to say anything. I don't know what to do.[/size]

[Ennui.]

I know that you can’t bring yourself to say anything but remind yourself that this is one of those things that is better to get done sooner rather than later. I know you don’t want to string him along or pretend everything is fine and it’s also not fair to you to be stuck in a relationship where you’re not truly happy with how things are. It’s also better to break up in person than over text if you can help it. Remind yourself of the reasons why you wish to end the relationship in the first place when you go to back down. Sometimes it helps to remind yourself of the reasons why things aren’t working out in the first place.
I’d sit him down on a day when he’s in a relatively decent mood so he’s more receptive to what you have to say. Be honest with how you feel by using “I statements” so it doesn’t sound accusing. Be honest but polite. Perhaps say that you feel as if you two are headed down different paths in life and you don’t feel as if the relationship is working out. Let him know you’re breaking up with him but you’re not mad at him.

[roshnikhanna]

If you feel not comfortable then you should move on.