Conflicted crush feelings

[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]Ok so, I got out of a long term relationship in August (technically we “went on break” at the beginning of summer but we didn’t get off of break) and I started a new job last week. I met a cute guy, we hit it off, and I asked for his number, we went on a lunch “date” and we have another dinner date soon. I think he’s really cool, I love talking to him, we have a lot of shared interests, but we kissed today, several times, not like super passionate kisses or anything, just pecks on the lips, and I didn’t really feel anything? Part of me wonders if it’s just because of the whole “got out of a long term relationship” thing, which cute guy knows about, and/or I’m just not ready for another serious relationship (which I need to tell cute guy and help/advice on how to do that would be greatly accepted and appreciated-) but it was kind of awkward. I didn’t hate it but it wasn’t great either I guess, and I feel bad saying it. There’s definitely some things I don’t like about him, but there’s plenty that i like too- I’m not sure if I just like the attention, or if I’m actually interested in him and I’m just feeling weird cause of previous relationship stuff. I dunno, feelings are weird and complicated-[/size][/color][/font]

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Hey,

This potential relationship just started out, so I think it would be valid to go on another date or two just to be sure, but I wouldn't take it much further than that so he doesn't feel strung along. It's possible you're just nervous about a new relationship, but it's also possible like you said that you just got out of a long term relationship.

If you do decide to break things off you can always let him know that he's a really great guy but you just got of a long term relationship and realized that you're not actually ready to date someone else. If you'd like to remain friends with him you can tell him that as well, but if you do it's up to him if he'd like to go that route or not. Either way, it's not your fault and at least you were honest with him.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

Hi, I agree with what is said up above. Try going on another date and see what happens and if you like each other that's great, if not that's alright too. I wish you the best of luck with this.

[Moxie.]

Hey,

Starting to date again after getting out of a long-term relationship can be tricky to navigate. It's definitely important to figure out what type of relationship, if any, you're currently interested in. Doing so will allow you to be more honest with the guy you're currently talking to and allow him to figure out if what you want aligns with what he's looking for. In the meantime, it's definitely okay to tell him that you're not quite sure what you want yet, but that you enjoy spending time with him and would like to continue doing so (if that is something that you want, of course).

It's also totally okay that you didn't feel a spark when you kissed. It doesn't necessarily mean that he isn't the right guy. Sometimes, these things can take a little time after getting out of a serious relationship. If you continue spending time with him, give things a chance to develop naturally. It's more likely that the spark will come back when you do.

Take care,
Sam