Parents and me dating

[sam10037]

My parents just realized after checking my text messages that I was dating this girl. They threw a giant fit and were so mad at me for lying to them. They are really against me dating because I am to young or its un-ethical or this will hurt your future. I don't understand I am 15 and everyone is dating. So far my parents have let it passed ,but now my one month with my girlfriend is coming up and we want to just stay at home and watch movies and order in. My parents are deathly against "girls" in the house and are also refusing me to go to her house. I don't understand we would be under constant supervision! My parents just want us to go to some movie outside and then dinner and that's it. My girlfriend and me just want to stay home, cuddle with each other and watch star wars. My parents have been yelling at me constantly about my relationship with the girl. The girl is an A+ student and she comes from a family of teachers. I am also an A+ student and I don't plan on doing anything stupid with her. What should I do I am so confused and upset?

[Satine]

It sounds like they're holding on to you harder than you want to be held. That you feel convinced you're old enough but they are not sure. You've mentioned that you and this girl are of similar 'status', as far as education and a 'respectable' background go, but that doesn't appear to have changed the problem. As to what to do about that, really it is up to you to decide how to respond to this problem. But I understand your wish to ask for help - I know my own parents tended to hold on too tight when I felt ready to face adult life.

[Infinitely Us]

First, tell your parents about this girl. Have a serious talk with them. Sit them down and just tell them about her and try to see their point of view. But don't make them upset or don't get upset because that'll just make things harder. And if your parents still say no, then just have her over for dinner one night and let your parents get to know her. I'm sure this will make things a lot easier! Message me if you need anymore advice(:

[Koharuchan]

My parents were the same way when I first started dating, they were all upset that I had a boyfriend, but they didn't stop me. They were just very vigilant and supervised everything. -_-

As for your parents reacting badly, the biggest reason was probably that you were keeping it a secret. You should probably apologize to them for not telling them before, and sit down and have a talk with them. Explain that you are 15, and you feel that you are old enough to start dating. Explain that you care about this girl very much and try to come to some sort of comprimise with them; make it a calm conversation and try to be as mature as possible, it may help them see that you are mature and responsible enough to start dating. Good luck!

[sam10037]

Originally Posted by Koharuchan

My parents were the same way when I first started dating, they were all upset that I had a boyfriend, but they didn't stop me. They were just very vigilant and supervised everything. -_-

As for your parents reacting badly, the biggest reason was probably that you were keeping it a secret. You should probably apologize to them for not telling them before, and sit down and have a talk with them. Explain that you are 15, and you feel that you are old enough to start dating. Explain that you care about this girl very much and try to come to some sort of comprimise with them; make it a calm conversation and try to be as mature as possible, it may help them see that you are mature and responsible enough to start dating. Good luck!

I did apologize to them and they have forgiven me somewhat. I also tried speaking with them and they said that they don't care if I date ,but they think I am to young to be inviting them to house for dates and stuff like that. They want me to keep it strictly outside but I can see a problem arising from that. I tried telling my parents that they should meet her but they don't want to get involved. How can I get them to meet and make them realize nothing bad will happen? I will ask again if they want to meet her for dinner because my parents have to know the full truth and light behind this.

[sam10037]

I just asked my mom again and she said no way are girls allowed in the house. She again said I am too young for girls to be allowed in the house which is really making me upset and angry! How the hell do I convince her that nothing will happen. I also told her right out how its kinda funny how she would rather let us go outside (with a group of friends) where she can't keep an eye on us than stay at home where she can have constant supervision. I am really getting upset and frustrated over this and my girlfriend is also feeling upset. I don't know what to do!

[Eternal]

Instead of getting upset and angry (which can lead to hurtful words which can upset your parents even more) I would sit them down and ask them for reasons as to why your girlfriend cannot come over. It sounds like they haven't given you any valid reasons as to why they say she can't come over.

[The Goblins Blade]

Just do what you want, dont listen to what they say.

[Disneygirl94]

I agree with Melody, fighting and getting upset can lead to words that you do not mean to say and can lead to a bigger conflict. Your parents are just feeling that they will lose their son, their child to a girl, they are being protective just remember that when you go and talk to them. Best of LUck!

[Harmony♥]

Having girls over for means the maturity to do so. When you get upset and angry with them for not allowing it, you're showing them that you aren't mature enough to have girls over. This leads to a bigger conflict which you should avoid. Right now, it's best to listen to what they have to say. They are allowing you to date, even though they think you're too young so just go along with what they say for now.

[Chris]

I see where you are coming from and I can understand the frustration. Theres a few things I would like to talk about here.

First, dont always do thinks because others are doing it. You said that all 15 year olds are dating, and if you say that to you parents, then they will reply, Oh so if all 15 year olds jump of a bridge will you jump too? So saying something like that shows you are not mature.

Second, She sounds like a great girl, and thats the side you need to show your parents. 1 month, isnt that long and you need to remember that. I would SLOWLY try to get your parents use to her and show them that you respect her, and that you respect yourself and your parents by not doing something stupid. You have alot to prove with your parents, dont mess it up.

Third, I would try to get involved with your girlfriends parents as well. Meet them, and show them how RESPECTFUL you are. Getting to know her parents might make you a better talker to your own parents.

Lastly - Take everything slowly. EVERYTHING. The relationship, the trust building for your parents, and anything else. If you move to quick I will tell you right now you will have some problems.