Im Sitting here again.
The bathroom floor is beggining to feel more comforting each time.

My wrists laying at my sides.
The blood that stains the floor beside me.
I did it again.

I know what you all think.
How could you?
are you stupid?

I can't help myself.
If you only knew.
The sharp rigged edges that pierce my skin is my only escape.
My getaway.

Feeling the cold turn into burning heat.
...

Your eyes are burning through my flesh.
I can't speak.
Im stuttering, choking out the words.
Im afraid you wont like what I say.
That I'll speak of something you didn't want to hear.

You'll get mad.

I constantly try my hardest to please you.
I always seem to fail.
I just don't understand what you want from me.

I swallow hard trying to force myself to walk into the same room as you.
I am so scared that you will hate...

I lay in bed curled tightly.
I pull the covers over my face.
I can hear your footsteps on the stairs, I cant help but stare at the clock.
The flashing lights telling me the time.
3 a.m.
Its time.

I try to calm myself, I try not to breathe so loud.
I can feel you in my room, Im frozen.

The red blanket that once covered me, slowly moving backwards slightly grazing my neck, intensifying my fear.

Your touch is gentle at first...

You tell me that Im worthless, That I am just trash.
Thats exactly what I feel like.
You don't care about me, All you care about is the pain you put me in.

You tell me that you like to hear my screams, you like to see the tears pouring down my face as in choking trying to catch my breath.

My bodys torn to shreds.
Its been twisted, broke, and bruised.
It feels as if a thousand razors are trying to escape from my insides.

I want you...