Why do I make myself feel

unwanted, hated, untouchable, disgusting?

Nobody else does that to me; I do it to myself. Because people shouldn’t want me, should hate me… But when they love me anyway, shouldn’t I give them that credit? Let them help me, when that makes them happy?

Maybe if I were less selfish. I’d deserve it enough to be able to believe it.

Why do I make myself feel

unwanted, hated, untouchable, disgusting?

Nobody else does that to me; I do it to myself. Because people shouldn’t want me, should hate me… But when they love me anyway, shouldn’t I give them that credit? Let them help me, when that makes them happy?

Maybe if I were less selfish. I’d deserve it enough to be able to believe it.

Today was good.
No tears at all this week. I am mighty proud of myself. Even if I don't know how I am doing it.
Almost cried yesterday, felt the tears in my eyes. But I held it in and went to sleep. I forget why I almost cried anyway. Haha.
I don't what is happening to me. I am changing, it's for the better, but I don't know why I am. Maybe all the advice has finally kicked in. Who knows.
Not going to dwell on the thought.
Today I cleaned my room and...