I'm struggling so bad just now.
It's like someone's died. I can't stop crying at everything. I feel really sick and empty and I can't even explain it.
I can't do this. I can't just accept that that's it. I keep praying I'm going to wake up and it'll all just be a dream.
I can't come to terms with the fact that I won't be going to sleep with and waking up to texts every day. It just feels like it shouldn't be so easy to just give up. It's not easy anyway. I can't explain it....

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So I eventually went to bed at about 3:30am, after visiting the loo and reading for a while. Seperate of each other of course. And slept. Ish, kept waking up, but nothing new there.

So I get a txt from my grandfather at 12:30pm saying "please call". Instead of texting back to confirm this, I get out of bed, eat breakfast, then call him, only to discover that he sent the message accidentally whilst clearing out his inbox. Not impressed, I could have stayed in bed.
...