For the past couple of days each and every time someone says she, her,or girl I cringe. Forcing my voice to sound normal I answer them but what I really want to do is scream at them that I'm not a she or a her hell I'm not even a girl. I'm a boy just a normal bisexual male. I can't wait for Tuesday so I can get this feeling to stop, but at the same time I'm dreading it the anxiety is eatting away at my soul. I'm still having the dreams and each morning its harder and harder to make myself get out...

Not pregnant!
Well, I have another test to take when I get back from my trip, just in case I messed up the dates and it was too early for the test. But I'm pretty sure I haven't.

Gonna be at the air port at 5am tomorrow morning. I'm so scared. I'm kind of excited. But I'm more scared. Because he'll be there and I thought maybe we could be civil or even friendly just for the trip but now I know that he actually hates me. :s

I'm going to miss my guinea pig....

i woke up this morning from another dream and in it i was a boy. when i had fully woken up and relized i wasn't a boy i wanted so badly to be a boy that i actully became one. JK i can only wish. but i did relize that i could become boy, but... frist i have to do the most terriefing thing in my life. come out to my friends and my family. i now know the only way to become what i am on the inside on the outside i will have to show the world who i really am. so slowly with very small babysteps i'm...