There are so many things i regret in life. I just can't stop think about them recently. I've been playing things over and over in my head. Trying to make sense of things but what if theres nothing to make sense of? What if this is it? I'm tired of fighting. I know what i have to do.

Feel so weak and broken. I'm irreparable and it's not like anyone even cares.

I'm sorry i'm not good enough. I'm sorry i'm not perfect. I'm sorry i'm alive.

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I'm trying so hard right now. I just don't think it will even be enough. It seems like no matter how hard i try or no matter what i do life has a way of saying. Emma you're not good enough! Makes me wonder why i even try anymore. Makes me feel useless, worthless, stupid. I feel like a failure. Probably because i am one.

Meh enough about me anyway i just want to say thanks to everyone whos been there for me and stuff. I love you so much and i wouldn't have made it this far without you....

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I always told myself i would be a better person. That i wouldn't end up like him. That i would be better than he said i was. I guess he was right. He said i was a lier. Well i am i am lying saying that i'm ok so that people will leave me alone and i can be free to destroy myself however i want to. He said i was a bad person, well thats certainly true. I am horrible. I hate today. Tomorrow will...

There is so much going on in my head i feel like it's going to explode. Can't handle this much longer.

This week just keeps getting worse. I'm scared that on monday i won't go to my exam. There is a railways about 5 minutes away from the school. I can't fail if i go there. Shouldn't be alone right now. But i am lying to everyone. "I'm ok" Yeah you're so stupid. People are so gullable sometimes....