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Posted April 9th 2011 at 03:22 PM by Anatidaephobia
I overdosed pretty badly last night. Still feel awful. I wish it would have worked though. I hate this. I can't even overdose properly. What hope is there?
So its the holiday and i kind of want to go and see all of my old friends. I miss them like hell but at the same time. I want to stay in my room. Hide away. I don't want to pretend everything is ok anymore. It's not but i can't let everyone know that. I just can't pretend that it's ok though. I just feel like breaking down.
I want to cut...cut so deep that it hurts. That i am surrounded in blood to remind me that i am alive.
I hate myself. Everyone hates me. I just want this all to stop. I want to know that everything is going to be ok. I want to talk to someone, have them hold me and tell me it's going to be ok. But i just won't let anyone in. I can't get hurt again. I won't let myself.
Sometimes i just wonder if its worth it. I mean what will i ever achieve in life? Will this ever get better? Can i last much longer on my own? Why don't i just give in to these suicidal urges? I am so scared right now. I don't know how much longer i can do this on my own
So its the holiday and i kind of want to go and see all of my old friends. I miss them like hell but at the same time. I want to stay in my room. Hide away. I don't want to pretend everything is ok anymore. It's not but i can't let everyone know that. I just can't pretend that it's ok though. I just feel like breaking down.
I want to cut...cut so deep that it hurts. That i am surrounded in blood to remind me that i am alive.
I hate myself. Everyone hates me. I just want this all to stop. I want to know that everything is going to be ok. I want to talk to someone, have them hold me and tell me it's going to be ok. But i just won't let anyone in. I can't get hurt again. I won't let myself.
Sometimes i just wonder if its worth it. I mean what will i ever achieve in life? Will this ever get better? Can i last much longer on my own? Why don't i just give in to these suicidal urges? I am so scared right now. I don't know how much longer i can do this on my own
Total Comments 3
Comments
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'I don't know how much longer I can do this on my own'. You're not alone. People are there for you but you have to take that responsibility and let them in. If you don't then they can't help you. It's okay to let them in they care for you and want to be there.
I know its hard but it can get better, I promise. Things change. You're not going to always feel the way you do now, it's just going to be hard work and take time but once you get there it will be so worth it. I swear down.
Stay strong, you know where I am.
Love you xxxxPosted April 9th 2011 at 04:36 PM by Palmolive
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Sweetie,
You are amazing and beautiful, you can do this!
Chin up sweetie and stay strong
I'm always here if you want to talk. <3Posted April 9th 2011 at 04:53 PM by Riddikulus
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i don't hate you, never have hated you and never will hate you, it will get better in the end, and there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.Posted April 9th 2011 at 06:34 PM by WhisperingSilence
