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And somehow you've got everybody fooled *Trig*
Posted February 19th 2012 at 06:49 PM by Anatidaephobia
There is so much I want to write but I just can't find the words. I just...I just feel horrible. I mean really horrible. I'm exhausted. I'm trying so hard I really am but it just doesn't seem to be good enough. I'm not good enough. I miss my best friend. I miss talking to her. She knew just what to say.
I can't face school tomorrow. I just don't know how to smile. I mean everything is such a mess and I feel disgusting. I looked in the mirror and cried my eyes out today. I'm ugly. I'm hideous....No one would ever want me. No one could ever love me.
It seems like I'm screaming and no one can hear. Yes I put on a smile but what other choice do I have really? I can't just cry all the time.
I text W and she never replied....I'm just going to avoid her tomorrow. Can't handle the arguments. First lesson will be hard enough. We're doing phobias in Psychology and for the first part we have to learn about abnormality. It's so triggering and when people make stupid comments it makes me so angry. But I just have to sit there.
I don't know how to cope anymore. It's not that I want to die. It's just that I can't handle this anymore. No one knows how bad things really are and I don't know how to tell anyone. My throat hurts from purging. I've put on weight and that makes things even worse. The voices worse. I just want this over. I hate this constant battle. I don't know what the point in life is anymore.
But I'm ok...Really I am. I have to be. People are depending on me. I have to be perfect. I have to be what everyone wants. I am fine.
Total Comments 4
Comments
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Emma if you ever need someone to talk to during school, pm me your number and we can text
if not I understand.
You don't have to be anyone you're not. You're you and you're beautiful and I love you and I'm here
<3Posted February 19th 2012 at 09:05 PM by blumemusik♫
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Hang in there baby girl. I know it's hard right now but it can and it will get better so don't give up. I'm always here for you anytime. Ring or text if you ever need me. You are not alone in this. I love you lot's <3Posted February 19th 2012 at 09:40 PM by Palmolive
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Sweetie,
You can do this. I know everything is hard right now, but it will get better. I wish i could make all of this go away, and you would be happy. Im here if you need me. You're amazing. I love you.Posted February 19th 2012 at 11:43 PM by Lumos.
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Hey, love. I'm so sorry you feel this way. I just hope, one day you realize you can open up and tell people the truth. My mom never liked when I told her I was depressed, but she suddenly changed. She was more willing to listen. And so I talk to her now. I guess she realized it wasn't a 'phase' and I really did need her.
So, I do hope you open up to people. Feel free to PM me.
<3Posted February 21st 2012 at 01:38 PM by escape_thereal_world
