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Old

That's life >.<

Posted June 16th 2011 at 08:44 PM by Anatidaephobia
I'm trying so hard right now. I just don't think it will even be enough. It seems like no matter how hard i try or no matter what i do life has a way of saying. Emma you're not good enough! Makes me wonder why i even try anymore. Makes me feel useless, worthless, stupid. I feel like a failure. Probably because i am one.

Meh enough about me anyway i just want to say thanks to everyone whos been there for me and stuff. I love you so much and i wouldn't have made it this far without you....
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Old

Just smile and pretend your ok (trig) Private Entry

Posted June 14th 2011 at 08:45 PM by Anatidaephobia
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Old

Meh like it matters anyway (Trig) Private Entry

Posted June 9th 2011 at 10:59 PM by Anatidaephobia
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Old

feel so empty (trig)

Posted June 4th 2011 at 11:15 PM by Anatidaephobia

Tired, hurting, urges, images, panic, thoughts. Feel useless, used, unloved, unwanted, unlovable, disposable, worthless, weak.
Lies so many lies, secrets, deciete.
Need to feel something. Need pain. Want to cut...need to cut.
Don't think i can hold on much longer.
...
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Old

Lies, lies, lies (Trig)

Posted June 3rd 2011 at 09:18 PM by Anatidaephobia

I always told myself i would be a better person. That i wouldn't end up like him. That i would be better than he said i was. I guess he was right. He said i was a lier. Well i am i am lying saying that i'm ok so that people will leave me alone and i can be free to destroy myself however i want to. He said i was a bad person, well thats certainly true. I am horrible. I hate today. Tomorrow will...
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Old

Lalalalala...I'm not listening to you Emma (Trig)

Posted June 1st 2011 at 11:24 PM by Anatidaephobia

There is so much going on in my head i feel like it's going to explode. Can't handle this much longer.

This week just keeps getting worse. I'm scared that on monday i won't go to my exam. There is a railways about 5 minutes away from the school. I can't fail if i go there. Shouldn't be alone right now. But i am lying to everyone. "I'm ok" Yeah you're so stupid. People are so gullable sometimes....
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Old

Just keep on cramming ideas down my throat (Trig) Private Entry

Posted May 31st 2011 at 11:42 PM by Anatidaephobia
Updated June 1st 2011 at 03:54 PM by Anatidaephobia
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In a crooked little town, they were lost and never found (Trig)

Posted May 31st 2011 at 06:25 PM by Anatidaephobia
I've been thinking a lot recently. Every little thing brings a new question into my mind. I'm so confused. Why do i bother? I was thinking loads of people go missing every year and very few are found. So that shows how easy it would be to disappear if i wanted to. Maybe it would be for the best. I mean lets face it who would even care. So what a waste of space like me goes missing maybe it would be relevant for the first few hours then after that nothing.I could just end it the and there would be...
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Old

Have you ever been so lost? (Trig) Private Entry

Posted May 27th 2011 at 11:00 PM by Anatidaephobia
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Old

Meh, like i care anyway (trig)

Posted May 26th 2011 at 08:53 PM by Anatidaephobia
Updated May 26th 2011 at 09:21 PM by Anatidaephobia

I am so tired, in everyway possible. Feel so incredibly weak. Can't hold on much longer.

Kept my promise though admitted some things and that i am struggling a lot right now. Don't think i deserve the help though.

Went and sat next to the train track yesterday. Went So Tempting, going back tomorrow after my exam. No point as i will fail it anyway :/ ...
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