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gave up.!

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Posted February 1st 2011 at 03:42 PM by Call.Me.Rae3900

He ran out, half naked with no shoes on his bare feet. As I stared at the cold, wet, but very flaky snow, he ran to give me a hug as if i have not seen him in years. His body was warm but then, so cold. Although he could not fell my arms wrapped around his waste I held onto him tighter not wanting him to let go. Ever. Finally he got free and ran back in the house, cold to get more cloths on.
At first i was not worried but after he came back out, i saw the way he looked at her and my eyes became green and i could fell the Jelly Monster moving in. As he started to talk all I could do was smile. I never completely understand what he is saying but i love to listen to him talk on an on for hours. I don't know maybe it is because I love the sound of his voice.
As planed we started walking around outside, up by the church and down around the park. I could tell he had noticed my friend especially when he pulled me aside and told me it was rude that i did not intercede them to each other.
"Danyelle, Corey, Corey, Danyelle." I laughed as i said it.
as they both said hello to one another. I was glad they were getting along until I saw the way they looked at each other, and they we almost walking in front of me like i was not even there. By then i could feel the green monster taking over my body and i was no longer in control of my own body. I could tell before i knew for sure. I mean come on it was right in front of my face. I felt the tear ready to fall but holding them back with a simple, 'I'm cold sniffle' and a faint smile.
They would dance a lot and smile and laugh, things me and Corey would usually do. They both knew i like Corey, but it did not seem to matter. To them it was like they were the only people around and I became nobody. My whole body became to shack for two reasons, one i was mad! The other reason being that it was really, really cold outside. still walking behind them I kinda laughed and said to myself "best friend?"
By this point I have hardly talked all though I could tell they did not really want my to either. Walking up and down random streets we became lost, Danyelle came back and whispered into my ear "I think I am starting to like Corey." smiled, then ran back up where Corey was. I also ran up beside them as well. Next thing i remember was them still talking and the one, wet glassy marble running from my big brown eye, but Corey and Danyelle to stuck in there own world to notice. I wiped the tear away and keep walking. after that all I can remember was, wanting to push Danyelle down the steps, then... nothing. everything else was blank. Danyelle and I found our way back to her house, we were no longer with Corey. At this point i became every mean to Danyelle. I did not mean to nor did i want to. It was the Jelly Monster taking over, I explained to her that it was because i was tired nothing was wrong even though everything was wrong and she would ask a million times. I texted Corey and told him that this guy was being mean to me and asked me for a dirty picture and if i did not send it to him he was not going to talk to me anymore. i did not start crying until Corey called me "whose ass do i have to beat!!" I could hear the angry in his voice. Tears ran down my face fast and i could not stop them. I cried right in front of Danyelle. Corey has heard me cry many times before but i did not want Danyelle to see how weak i really was. She rubbed my back as he told me that everything was alight, he wasn't a real friend all he wanted was a dirty picture. He finally got me to smile and stop crying.
We were all on the web cam, this time me, Corey, and Danyelle were talking. All my make-up was washed off so I didn't look that pretty although they both yelled at me that i was very pretty. I knew they just did not want to hurt my feeling, As Danyelle and Corey flirted more and more, I felt lost without my razor, nothing to run to. That night Corey gave Danyelle his number, well she asked. He told us to text him. I do not understand why, he hardly texted me. i waited for him to reply to me as he replied to Danyelle instantly.
I fell asleep quickly, just to wake up and find that the usual "good morning" text was not on my phone. i was losing him and there was nothing i could do. All she would do was talk about Corey.!! It made the jealousy come out more and I became more mad at her, for something she had no control over. then i got even more mad because i was getting mad at her. again we walked down to Corey's to hang out. He came outside, this time i was not completely ignored but slightly they were pushing me away.
We got back to Danyelle's around four, went start up stares as she began to talk about him more, i just ignored what she was saying. Then something i saw in her text messages from last night after I went to sleep. he told her he loves her.! HE TOLD ME HE DIDNT SAY THAT TO JUST ANYONE!!!! HE JUST MEET HER HOW COULD HE LOVE HER ALREADY!?!?!?! uurrgg! Danyelle still talking i started to listen and her her tell me that he told her, he likes her. i wanted to curl up and die right there. i showered no emotion on my face.
As i began to pack to go home, i heard a beep outside Danyelle was leaving to. Her dad took me home. I hardly even said to words to my mom, just ran down stairs and started crying. i ran over to my hidden razor in the abandon shoe but my dresser. pressed it against my skin and drew a picture. i smiled as the blood ran down my arm. it was the deepest cuts i have every down and it felt so good to finally get it out. from all the fighting i have down it is all over. My phone rang. i looked to see who it was. It was Corey, the only person that i was fighting for. i hesitated to answer the phone. But soon found the courage to. "hello? im kinda busy. can i call you back in about five minutes ?" and the phone went blank. By then my smile was a frown and the rush of the razor was gone. As i pressed the razor to my skin one more time, i paused, i could not do it. i then threw my razor a crossed the floor and cried.. the worst part, is he did not even say he was sorry for making me so upset. //:
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