so about last month the school nurse called me down and told me to pull up my selves and she saw all my cuts and the only reason i keep it a secret was so that i didnt get my mom in trouble. i had told my mom many times i need to talk to someone about my problems and i didnt trust her enough to talk to her anymore
so anyway the nurse sent me to the guidance office and they called my mom and told her. well now that i started talking to them.. CPS (child protected services) just called about...

the cuts are getting deeper annd the amount of blood that comes out gets to be more and more each time. nothing seems to be going right annd i cant stop the razor from finding its way back to my wrists annd i cnt stop it from sliding a crossed my skin. i just wanna kill myself, if i could i would! i want to just cut my arms, DEEP GASHES FROM THE TOP ALL THE WAY DOWN ! letting me bleed out as my body ran cold.
just thinking about hurting him makes my body ich annd i start scratching causing...

He ran out, half naked with no shoes on his bare feet. As I stared at the cold, wet, but very flaky snow, he ran to give me a hug as if i have not seen him in years. His body was warm but then, so cold. Although he could not fell my arms wrapped around his waste I held onto him tighter not wanting him to let go. Ever. Finally he got free and ran back in the house, cold to get more cloths on.
At first i was not worried but after he came back out, i saw the way he looked at her and...

haha i just realized, im addicted to this site. lol
every time im on the computer i have to sign in, see if i have any comments/friend request lol (: i love this site !!!!!!!!!!

i dont understand it anymore. its like every person ive ever cared about, asked me to stop cutting. im trying my hardest but i cant do it alone and that exactly wht happened im alone again just like before. you dont care why should i ? wht right do you have to tell me not to, but then you do it. then turn around and tell me if i do then our friendship is no more.? for one that just makes me wanna do it even more then before. but how do i tell you i cut because of you. your my best friend, yes we...

haha so i just found out by my COUSINS FRIEND <jessie> that she was saying shit about me. and wht was new about my cousin that i didnt know, aslo Jessie was telling everyone she thought i was pregnant and a bunch of other shit. .x.in my new school.x. so HER friend called me and told me all of this thats going on and pretty much told me that Jessie has no more friends at this school and that no a lot of ppl like her because of wht she did to her boyfriend .x.he got pushed down the steps for...

.x.random call.x.
"hello"
.......
"idk imma go."
"wht why?"
"idk its just different talking to you."
"umm wht do you mean?"
"Raeanne you know wht i mean"
"umm no i dont?"
....
"WHTEVER you know wht.? i gtg bye"
.x.hung up.x
you know wht.!? if it so fuken different talking dont fuken call out of no where like really.? i understand i...

i feel like i failed my job in being his best friend. she hurt him so he hurt himself. /: if she said the right things i bet he would give her more chances. i wish things were better for him. when hes sad it makes me wanna cry.. he has asked me if i really cared, that just made me feel worse, i do care about him. more then anyone in the world. i love him and wish we were more then just friends. but he has never giving me the chance. //: he has told me that he feels the same way but when it...

It felt so right before.. why not this time ? i wanted it to feel like before, the spark. this time there was none //: maybe its just not meant to be, as much as i want it to. i know you want it too but there is just nothing there between us anymore. i like the way you hold me, but when we kissed i felt nothing ): maybe our chance is over ?