Why won't it all just stop? Why do I have to feel so trapped and empty? Why can't someone help me? Why do I keep breaking down? Why am I sometimes fine and then sometimes rock bottom? Why do I want to kill myself? Do I have anything to live for? Will it always be like this? I want to cry again. I think I'm going to cry again. But I've cried so much today the tears won't come. I'm scared for tomorrow. I don't want to go out with that group. I'm scared they'll all hate me. I'm scared they won't talk...

I want to talk to Pete. He was nice and he listened to me.

I've been stranded again just as all the shit comes pouring back on me.

It's not fair. I feel stupid and selfish saying that but it's not fair that when I was seeing him I was fine and as soon as I stop I want to die.

But I've finished school. So I don't get to see him. And I don't know what to do.

I hate being ugly.
I hate being fat.
I hate being horrible.
I hate being me.