I'm scared. So scared. I have to do running and climbing and everything tomorrow, on an empty stomach. Why? Because I have to. Because those are the rules. Because if I don't, I'll cut or OD. Because I'm a huge fuck up. Because I'm a mess. Because I'm fat.

Just tried to cut some scab off my foot because it wasn't perfect. Now my foot is bleeding. Why the fuck am I doing this to myself? Why are my fingernails bitten down and the skin torn off from my fingers? Why are there scabs on...

I feel like no one cares. Like I can only get advice or support if people don't know me. If i'm anonymous. I'm just a mess that no one listens to.

So done. There's absolutely no point in trying. Going to quit staff. Going away. Hiding inside myself. Feel like shit.

I've been dreading this day for months. I've been having nightmares about it.

I got three As and a D. Pretty decent grades, I mean the three As are good. Just the D is getting me down.

Media I was expecting a high grade. I'm dropping it even with the A because the coursework stressed me out to much. I don't want another year filled with anxiety and depression, and one way of helping that is by dropping media. Plus it means fuck all to me now that I've changed...