everything sucks im really depressed again i can barely function never mind do my degree my chronic illness is kicking my butt my relationships are disintegrating i want to cry and get drunk and cut and die

my meds are messing up my sleep
i can barely stay upright without feeling really ill
i feel so nauseous
everythings in pain
theres no end to this
theres no treatment theres nothing
i hate everything
i hate being ill
i want to be normal
i want to be able to do my degree like a normal person

I have internet, thank god. I hate not having internet.. I have no idea how I would survive after a nuclear war or something, like Fallout. I'm rambling. Oops.

Feeling wobbly and shaky and weird. A little manic today maybe. I don't know. I've spent two days in bed and missed my lecture because after my girlfriend broke up with me I cried too much and it triggered a flare up of symptoms, so that's great. Threw up my meds this morning as well. But I got to my seminar and I even spoke...