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No reason to go on.
Posted April 29th 2011 at 10:30 AM by Evanesco
No one reads the shit I post. I don't blame them. I wouldn't.
I'm sick of this. I really am.
Thing is, I don't even feel sad. Not really. Not like depressed or anything.
I just feel empty. I just feel like there's no point doing anything any more.
I still do stuff. When people look at me. When people see me.
I'll work, I'll play, I'll smile.
But I rarely write any more. I don't play guitar. I don't cuddle my guinea pig. I don't revise when I'm on my own. I don't play my computer games. I rarely read, and when I do I can barely make it through a chapter. I hardly listen to music anymore.
I don't do anything.
I sit and stare at my e-mails, but when I get one I wish I hadn't because it means I have to open it.
I browse the internet but I don't know what I'm looking for.
I wander around my room, trying to tidy it but not getting very far.
And then my mum comes in and I'm smiling.
My boyfriend comes round and I do whatever he wants. Play games, chat, watch things.
I wish I had someone with me all the time. Because then I'd have a reason to do things. But I don't. So there's no reason to go on. No reason to keep trying.
I want it to end.
I'm sick of this. I really am.
Thing is, I don't even feel sad. Not really. Not like depressed or anything.
I just feel empty. I just feel like there's no point doing anything any more.
I still do stuff. When people look at me. When people see me.
I'll work, I'll play, I'll smile.
But I rarely write any more. I don't play guitar. I don't cuddle my guinea pig. I don't revise when I'm on my own. I don't play my computer games. I rarely read, and when I do I can barely make it through a chapter. I hardly listen to music anymore.
I don't do anything.
I sit and stare at my e-mails, but when I get one I wish I hadn't because it means I have to open it.
I browse the internet but I don't know what I'm looking for.
I wander around my room, trying to tidy it but not getting very far.
And then my mum comes in and I'm smiling.
My boyfriend comes round and I do whatever he wants. Play games, chat, watch things.
I wish I had someone with me all the time. Because then I'd have a reason to do things. But I don't. So there's no reason to go on. No reason to keep trying.
I want it to end.
Total Comments 1
Comments
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I know its hard for you right now but you can beat this lovely. People do care about you, I care about you. You're so strong. Hold on <3Posted April 29th 2011 at 11:26 AM by Palmolive
