It's hard...
Now that Bryan and I are over for good. (Thankfully there's some sense there). But I feel empty. I feel like a crybaby. And everyone else NEEDS me for advice, or help.


You so strong, Hope.

No, I'm not. I cut my thighs everyday, cry myself to sleep.


Or..maybe Ii am strong, with the smiile plastered to my face.


Seeing othee peopl happy is what makes me live.

Crying. Crying & crying. Nothing more, nothing less.
Bryan got over me. I don't know how, but I think that was the final thing I needed to break. This has been a horrible week.
Got punched in the eye, by a guy, another guy dislocated my wrist then snapped it back together, then I fell, fillpped, skiinned my leg, bruised my thigh, and waist bone. A friend of mine lied about rape with another friend of mine. They both got suspened, & Mi might have to go to court for them, which...

So, on Monday my back pack was in my Drama class, while I was on stage practicing.
I come back to find my wallet gone..
Contents:$20 , two free movie tickets to any game, libary card, CA id card, School ID card, Rite aid wellness card, my hotmail password, emerangy contact.


So, I went home pissed the hell out. I changed my password, but that deleted my writing.EVERYTHING!!!! All my plays, stories, poems & songs. Including the novel I was working on.. >...

He waited 5 hours.
I bet more, because he didnt get home untill 10pm and he was there at 2.
I feel so guilty
I know he said it was okay because my friend stood me up, her boyfriend kicked out of her house and I punched a wall, and got injured...
But He was there for 5 hours!!!!
I screwed up big time, I almost lost him...
He cried a bit, and consumed enough choclate for a moose to die from. That's what his post said..
I don't deserve him, do...

I can't take it.
Just stop it now.
The constant questions..
"Why do you have a bruise on your knuckle?"
"Where did that scar come from?"
"Why do you cut?"
"What makes you happy?"
"Who makes you happy?"

Just stop. Everone just stop. I want to you to care..but it doesn't really matter.. It's not like I'll ever be happy.

Do I even remember being truly happy?
Yes....

I'm late.
I was already supposed to be there.
He's there.
He probably think I stood him him up.
He won't wait. He'll leave and never talk to me again.


I'm so worried
For a while now I have been talking to this guy named Alex. He's amazing and be thinks I'm amazing too.
I was going to meet him for the first time today, a double date with him and me and my friend Micah and her boyfriend.
But Micah's running late. And I'll...

Bryan. Bryan Erik Rumbo + Hope. Hope ShyAnne Denney = LOVE

At least it did. Supposedly. I don't even know if we were ever in love.

I'm screwed up.,

But I wont go back to him

He liked only the chase.

Screw him. Im done with excuses.

Im moving on.

Because I'll stay in bed,
Replaying all the words you said
A replay of the unemotional words,
After what I saw what you did, and even the things I heard.
I knew, I'd still love you.
Even after all we've been through.

Answer my prayers,
And come back to me
It was so strong, so hard to believe
It all went wrong.
Come back to me
I'm going to bleed for all eternity.

Why is it so important to you
...

Smile on my face, better watch your back, Archer.
Two faced mother fuckers get both jaws cracked.
You're sorry, oh, so you said.
One thing about you, I can't wait till you're dead.
It's got me fucked up. My anger I can't let go.
Will we ever be the same? Well, my answer is no.
You're a clown, I'm around, you want a war? I'll take you.
Stand aside, take a ride, I won't try, you're such a lie.
In the real world you get burned and stung.
...

I did it.
Like little red lines, they go across my upper thigh. I hate it. Just looking, I'm disgusting myself. It feels like my only way to relieve stress, and when I do it I can't feel it. Like I am gone.

I know there are other ways to get rid of this pain. I am going to try them, I have to stop letting this get the best of me...
I'm going to tell my boyfriend tomorrow. I a, going to show him the scars. I hope he accpets me still I know I will cry, I know I...