Yeah, I guess, so you only die once as well.

And when you die, there's so many people left behind, and they're so angry, and so sad, even though they knew you were dying. It doesn't make it any easier to let go, and we all just feel like we should live forever.

But you're gone. You're gone somewhere I'm not and you're never coming back. You don't breathe any longer and you don't smile, you're dead, you're only memories now.

Blayne's funeral is streaming...

It's Waitangi Day tomorrow, so I guess I should have a think about what this year is going to be about for me.

I don't know if you guys are aware, but for a long time now I've wanted to work in the medical field or in some sort of mental health. I've decided I'm going to study nursing, but I won't be starting that until next year at the earliest.

So this year. Well, I want to find a job - because I'll definitely need part-time work to fund full-time study. I want to...