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I guess I should feel bad.
Posted June 28th 2012 at 02:07 AM by i_like_black
I guess I should feel bad for skipping community work today. I don't. I feel bad in general, but not specifically about that. I'll probably get a warning. If they want, they can take me to court on breach and I can be fined or jailed. Know what? Right now, that doesn't bother me. I just needed to get some new clothes, and some pads. Periods ftl. So I did. Now I have trackpants with a ridiculous amount of Xs before the L, so they should both fit, and be comfortable. As well as a new white shirt, which hopefully will fit, and a new thermal, which I know will fit, and is long sleeved. On purpose.
My Mum knocked on my door at 7:30am and was like, "it's 7:30am you're going to be late!" I was really groggy and shit, because I'd been dreaming at that exact point in time, and you know how hard it is to wake up properly when you're in the middle of a dream. My alarm went off at 6:30am and I have a vague memory of turning it off but not really acknowledging the morningness. After Mum left I made it look like I'd left (except with my curtains closed so she couldn't see into my room), and fell asleep again.
Hypersomnia.
No motivation.
Negative outlook.
Suicidal ideation - plan, check. Intent, semi-check.
Delusions of hopelessness - oh wait, those aren't delusions. I'm just shit at life.
Having more trouble concentrating.
Even fun games (like RuneScape) seem repetitive and pointless.
Oh, hello Depression. I thought you'd left me. It's good to know we're still friends . . . not.
I have to see my keyworker tomorrow. I guess I'll go. If I don't, they'll know something's up.
FML.
My Mum knocked on my door at 7:30am and was like, "it's 7:30am you're going to be late!" I was really groggy and shit, because I'd been dreaming at that exact point in time, and you know how hard it is to wake up properly when you're in the middle of a dream. My alarm went off at 6:30am and I have a vague memory of turning it off but not really acknowledging the morningness. After Mum left I made it look like I'd left (except with my curtains closed so she couldn't see into my room), and fell asleep again.
Hypersomnia.
No motivation.
Negative outlook.
Suicidal ideation - plan, check. Intent, semi-check.
Delusions of hopelessness - oh wait, those aren't delusions. I'm just shit at life.
Having more trouble concentrating.
Even fun games (like RuneScape) seem repetitive and pointless.
Oh, hello Depression. I thought you'd left me. It's good to know we're still friends . . . not.
I have to see my keyworker tomorrow. I guess I'll go. If I don't, they'll know something's up.
FML.
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