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I decided to clean up my laptop.
Posted May 18th 2013 at 04:44 AM by i_like_black
Thing is, it's not overly messy, it just happens to be that due to me torrenting some stuff, there are some files that exist in two places, so I've been getting rid of the double-ups.
The thing is, I ended up in my downloads folder, which has basically never been cleaned, and I found . . . I found some very painful memories. Of my ex. A reference she got from my property manager so she could move into her own place - even though she'd hardly ever been listed on the tenancy agreement. Her new tenancy agreement for the place she moved to. Her bond lodgment form for the same place. A copy of the bank statement I thought I might need when I took her to court about the netbook that she basically stole. A copy of a painting she did, which she won lifetime free Membership to RuneScape for - a competition I was too lazy to enter.
Just things. And they hurt now. They hurt because of everything that happened, and because of how careful I thought I'd been to remove her from my laptop.
And now, I want to cut so bad.
I mean, chances are I won't, but it was just such a nasty surprise, having my computer spring that on me, and I don't know why I agreed to help her in the first place, and I don't know why I'd never deleted any of those documents before.
Silly Jess. Silly, silly Jess.
Hopefully my mind is slippery enough that this will disappear and I'll go back to having an okay day. Hopefully.
Next time I'll get somebody else to go through it maybe.
The thing is, I ended up in my downloads folder, which has basically never been cleaned, and I found . . . I found some very painful memories. Of my ex. A reference she got from my property manager so she could move into her own place - even though she'd hardly ever been listed on the tenancy agreement. Her new tenancy agreement for the place she moved to. Her bond lodgment form for the same place. A copy of the bank statement I thought I might need when I took her to court about the netbook that she basically stole. A copy of a painting she did, which she won lifetime free Membership to RuneScape for - a competition I was too lazy to enter.
Just things. And they hurt now. They hurt because of everything that happened, and because of how careful I thought I'd been to remove her from my laptop.
And now, I want to cut so bad.
I mean, chances are I won't, but it was just such a nasty surprise, having my computer spring that on me, and I don't know why I agreed to help her in the first place, and I don't know why I'd never deleted any of those documents before.
Silly Jess. Silly, silly Jess.
Hopefully my mind is slippery enough that this will disappear and I'll go back to having an okay day. Hopefully.
Next time I'll get somebody else to go through it maybe.
Total Comments 1
Comments
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You're right that looking through things from our past can really hurt, especially when we weren't even expecting to find it in the first place and then it comes and hits us like a ton of bricks. But at least this is all in your past. You won't have to deal with her anymore or her nearly stealing your netbook or any of that, you won't have to deal with the pain she caused you anymore because that is all in your past and now it is time to move on and start a bright future, and I know you can, I just know it. Maybe finding these items and deleting them symbolizes just that.
Posted May 19th 2013 at 03:39 AM by Ennui.
