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Posted March 3rd 2010 at 06:54 AM by i_like_black

At least Ailin's happy. He's being purry across my lower stomach-ish region.

We kinda broke up. I was mad that she told my brother about my overdraft, so I said if she had no excuse for it, she should leave. She didn't even bother to try and excuse it. So she's gone now.

She took Spider. I was annoyed, I wanted Spider to stay. I'm scared Ailin will get lonely without him. Spider's going to a house that already has two cats so there's no chance he'll be lacking feline company, but Ailin only has me, and him and Spider have been together from 8 weeks old until now.

I haven't done any exercise stuff yet today, I'll probably do it before going to bed. And I didn't have the energy to cook the fish I bought myself. Guess I'll have to eat it tomorrow. I'm going to continue as per usual, except with less sex and with less people interaction. She left her T.V., so at least I can still have background noise if I feel the need. I guess.

Every time she decides to leave or I tell her to leave, I miss her like hell. I can't tell her that though, it would be bad. I know that it will better for her at her Mum's - she'll have more money, the opportunity to go to uni, healthier food, and stuff like that. I'm scared she'll get another partner. And that she'll never want me back. She's my only ever partner, really, unless you count a few randoms who I did nothing with when I was trying to convince myself I was straight. I love her, I think I will always. But it's best for us to be apart for now. Probably for quite a while. And even though I know that, it still hurts, and I'm still sad and a bit depressed about it. In a couple of weeks I know I'll get over it. Just have to get through those first weeks.

Or, when she texts me and says she misses me. Or says she's sorry she told my brother my private stuff.

Aw, Ailin's asleep. I'm glad I have a kitten
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