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Whee, I'm gonna make a journal up here!
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My life? It sucks. My only reason to go on? Jon.

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Posted January 23rd 2012 at 08:09 PM by Koharuchan

Yep, I hate my life. The one and only thing keeping me going is Jon. Jon never fails to comfort and encourage me, but then mom comes in and tears down the walls of hope he helps me build.

She says I have no life, she says I'm not good enough, she says I'll fail if I try, she says I'm never going to be anybody.

I'm nobody. I'm useless. I'm stupid for dreaming.

You know why I love being with Jon? He's the only person in the world capable of comforting me after my mother's words. When I go to his house, you know what we do? I curl up under the blankets in his bed, lay on my side, and he lays next to me and holds me. Just holds me. And it is the most comforting feeling in the world to me. Most of our time is spent just being together like that. He strokes my hair, whispers loving and comforting words in my ear, and holds me for hours. He never lets go. He lets me fall asleep in his arms and he holds me even while I sleep. He is my only comfort.

He told me I fell asleep and he rolled onto his back, and shortly after I rolled on my side and wrapped my arms around his arm in my sleep and I curled up into a ball. He said I was fast asleep, so he laid there for an hour with his arm quickly dying. I told him he should've woken me up and had me let go, but he didn't want to wake me. When I woke up and he got his arm back he couldn't move it.

He's always taking care of me and comforting me. He doesn't mind laying down and taking a nap with me, or just laying down and talking to me. He loves it, actually. He's told me more than once that I am his number one priority, and no matter what time it is, even if it's 2 in the morning, if I'm upset or insecure, call him. He's always there for me, and mom says he's the reason I have no life.

No. SHE'S the reason I have no life.
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