You know what fucking sucks?? I can't be upset. I can't be angry. I can't say anything because he's not mine. I can't say anything because I'm fucking terrified. I can't say anything because I'd rather feel pain a thousand times worse than this, than risk the chance that I'll lose him.

Fuck
Why can't I be a good writer
Why can't I put my feelings into words
I wish I could say how amazing your eyes are, how amazing your nose is
And oh god your smile
Why can't I put into words how I feel about you
So someone
Anyone
Would understand how fucking insane I'm going
But all I can say is this
Sometimes I want to reach over and grab your hand
And sometimes it's 4am on a Tuesday
And my heart is beating...

I miss you when I'm alone at night. When the world is asleep. When the moon and stars are out. I remember how we stayed up gazing at them, making wishes that we'd hope would come true one day. I miss you when I'm alone at night, when every thought I have is of you. I miss you when I'm alone at night, I miss your arms around me, legs tangled together, hands entertwined, my head on your chest, listening to your heartbeat.

I miss you when I'm awake. It doesn't matter where I am, it doesn't...

No matter how many love songs you listen to, it doesn't change the fact that you are alone. Absolutely alone.

He's not gonna stay for you. He's not going to come running back for you. He's not going to make a big romantic gesture just for you. Stop romanticising everything. It doesn't happen. He will never love you back. He's going to leave and never come back. So stop waiting for something that'll never happen.

She doesn't deserve a hug, she doesn't deserve my tears. She doesn't deserve anything from me. i don't owe her anything... Do I?

One pill
Two pills
Three pills
Four
Who would have thought she could've made it this far?

Five pills
Six pills
Seven pills
eight
Her eyelids start to droop,
The world starts to disappear.

Nine pills
Ten pills
Eleven pills
Twelve
She doesn't want to be here.

The numbers become a blur,
She lost count.
Unconsciousness engulfs her.
And without...

worth the view.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltun92DfnPY

Because you deserve to live
Because your life has value, whether or not you can see it
Because it was not your fault
Because you didn’t choose to be battered and used
Because life itself is precious,
Because you are connected to each and every other ritual abuse survivor, and so your daily battle automatically gives others hope and strength
Because you will feel better, eventually
Because each time you confront despair you get stronger you can’t know...