Fuck...
I've just been told that all through October we have £114 to spend on food, petrol and anything else we need like train tickets...
We have £10 max to spend on food a week and I can't run or anything because we need to save the petrol...
Aparently we have to have either cereal or toast (I don't even like the latter) for tea at least every other night and I might not even be allowed fruit in the morning...
It's times like these that I hate my Dad... When it's his fault...

Feeling lonely
Not even sure why...
I just want to be around people...
Friends...
Well just this one friend, C...
I think she's beautiful...
She's my best friend in my head...
Although I think she prefers the others to me...
Or at least likes us equal...
I wish she liked me the most...
I wish I just had a pal here...
Someone to talk to and stuff...
Oh Well... I guess being lonely is the consequence of being an only child...

I honestly thought I could be myself around you. I told you all my secrets, everything. I trusted you. But none of that matters anymore, Because you only love me when I'm doing what you want. It doesn't matter that I just got out of the hospital, You can't get someone to notice you. Of course you always come first.
I'm done. I'm fucking done.

I don't know what to do.

I want to purge so badly.

I need this food gone.

I can't believe I ate it.

I don't know what to do with myself.

I can't purge. I've tried and I can't.

I don't know what to do.

Posting this from my sexeh new netbook which I am completely in love with.
Living room is a mess. The walls and ceiling are all a dark brown colour with big patches of really really pale pink. Kind of like skin colour. There's a lamp and table/chairs in the corner. Two armchairs and a sofa sat in the middle and a tv in the corner. There are no curtains and the wires for the TV are poking out everywhere. Hopefully in a few months we'll have a nice white ceiling, painted walls, new couch,...

Source: Notice | Facilitated Chat Room Discussions.


There are three scheduled discussions on the topics of peer pressure and bullying in the Chat Room for users to seek advice and share thoughts and ideas! The first discussion will be held at 8pm UK time (BST), the second will be held at 8pm Eastern US time (EDT), and the third will be held at 8pm Pacific US time (PDT). All you have to do to...

I realized today I might be crazy. Not the kind I always knew I am-in short, not the good kind. The bad kind. Voices in my head? Kind of. If imaginary 'friends'-such as book characters-that follow me around twenty-four seven count. I've always known they weren't real, and that it was all in my head and everything, but it...comforted me to know they were there. I've never really been close to anyone, I've always been alone.... Sure, I had my family. But I'm different than they are, not as...confident...

Spider under my draws, not even scared of them but this is terrifiying...
It has 3 ways out, 3 ways to die...
But which way?
It has to come out before mother sees... she'll on freak and stress me more...
But it won't leave... And I really want it to go...
Don't want to be a murderer, but it needs to go to heaven...
I'm all itchy...
And Shivering...
And what if it has eggs?
How will we cope with spider babies when mother screams from money spiders......

So, on Monday my back pack was in my Drama class, while I was on stage practicing.
I come back to find my wallet gone..
Contents:$20 , two free movie tickets to any game, libary card, CA id card, School ID card, Rite aid wellness card, my hotmail password, emerangy contact.


So, I went home pissed the hell out. I changed my password, but that deleted my writing.EVERYTHING!!!! All my plays, stories, poems & songs. Including the novel I was working on.. >...

I don't know what to do right now. After that argument last night. I was this close to killing myself. And every time he said those words I died a little inside. I don't want him to leave me. I want the certainty we had before. I hope I get that back.

But do I still carry on? Can I do it on my own?