I just re-read my last blog entry from about a 2 weeks ago ; God, how pathetic u__u
Things haven't changed much since then, but I am, however, coping in a very different way then 2 weeks ago. Even though I don't get along with most of the people in my life right now, I have learned to move on, alone, and not let that get me down. Sure, it's not easy. It's hard, really it is. Probably is the hardest thing anyone can do ; learning to depend on only yourself and not minding what others say/don't...

My Shiny Sharp stars

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Was walking along merrily today when suddenly my left leg wasn't working completely right.... There's still a lot of pain coming from it now and I'm having difficulty moving without being in severe pain. Hopefully it will sort itself out tonight when I'm asleep. Or maybe I should invite Lord T over so he can kick it better in his sleep xD

Today is sociopath day
i wanted to throw a guy across a room by his throat earlier for making smart arse comments
and i have friends that are trying to be supportive but just crippling me.I feel smothered by everyone, and just cant breathe,
i just wanna be swallowed up by this black hole inside.

---triggering (suicide/sh)


I'm not sure if it's because of hormones or what, but I completely overreacted last night in a sad manner. My mother was obviously in a lot of pain from taking a shower and was angry when she came down, telling me to take the dog out again (which I did). When I came back she said that my phone was going crazy and she had picked it up and saw that I had a calendar appointment. (Dad was also calling, so that prolly made it seem like it was freaking...

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Said I wouldn't get involved in TH again, yet here I am.


So, so, so freaking stressed. And sad, mad, depraved.
I'm not depressed though. People try to get the last word in (my wonderful self included) I'm starting to see why I don't need to anymore. EHell finally teaching me something xD

It is just a little over a month until we go on forced holiday break. With everything that happens on the weekends these days, hopefully it wont feel like too long. Original...

We all try so hard to forget things sometimes, we all want to erase some events from our memory, we don’t want to be reminded of anything painful that may have hurt you before...and when we do actually remember, when we are forced to remember ; it hurts. Real bad.
That’s exactly what he did to me. Just by calling, he left me empty and totally ruined the strength that I had felt these past few weeks. He fucking killed me with his stupid phone call. He brought back all the crap I’ve been longing...

(trigerring- SH)

The title really says it all. The past week has been terrible, I've been getting so angry it's become concerning even to me. I don't know what to do with all of this. I can't tell anyone because they'd put something on my record or do something to stop me from going to college. Either from my parent's perspective or the college admission's people. I can't get the help I need without giving up my future!

Somehow this has become my reality and I can't...

Spent some time exploring a new genre of music that's somewhere between techno and industrial and noise. It feels really good, even though the singers scream a lot (but that's more my parents talking than me) which includes bands such as Cyanotic and 16Volt among others. It's actually really calming.

So I had my birthday about a week ago and got a hundred dollars from my uncle. I thought about buying DJ Hero with it, but with the new onslaught of stress and my parents being generally...