okay so my story isn't as bad as some people's and it's kind of long but i'm gonna try and sum it up as best i can.So it started in 7th grade when my friend started cutting and she told me and i asked her why. she said because it releases all the stuff she keeps in. She warned me that i shouldn't do it because i would most likely get addicted to it, i was fascinated because she spoke of self- harm like it was heroine.But knowing the dangers of it i had a lot going on my mom was drinking a lot and...

omg! yeah i know you like the guy who likes me
but thats no reason to make me and my fella break up!!!
you should be happy i have a fella so you can have the guy who likes me all to yourself!
I DON'T LIKE THE GUY
I
DON'T
FUCKING
LIKE
THE
FUCKING
GUY

GET OVER ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

i have someone and im happy. Please dont mess it up for me!!!!

F*** not saying anything anymore.
SHE NEEDS TO GET IT INTO HER HEAD
I
DON'T
LIKE
THE
GUY

YOU CAN HAVE HIM!!!!!! I AM JUST NOT INTO HIM

end of.

I never thought I'd feel this way about someone...well, I did but I didn't imagine it would be so wonderful! I feel like I am so incredibly lucky to have such a fantastic, amazing boyfriend. Ever since we started going out I've thought this, but now even more. So I just had one of the best trips of my life. We went to a city 6 hours from my school to see 3 plays. We were there for 2 days. This is how everything went:
Tyler and I got to sit together on the way there, tried to sleep but it wasn't...

Give me a mattress a tv a fan.... it's all I want anymore...

byebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebye


I still hurt... so fucking much.
I want to dissolve....

Im stuck.
im fed up of moaning bout my life but heres one more.

My family can't stop arguing and they always blame me for the arguement starting.

I have been tryin to stop self harming but i can't im doing it every night and i don't really know why.

School isn't going well i can't focuse in lessons i even fell asleep in one.

Study day is coming up and my dads coming im scared dad will go mental when he hears whats been happening and he...

Careless cold gerk genius assle freaking hell deamon cold gestures and blank look ever staring at infinity ever reflecting nothingness ever spreading fear in the black hearts as a beam of sunlight in vampiers world...as a stream of water in devils'hell.......cold and senseless nothing can move an emotion revive retrive it from its eternal grave....him: '.my shreded soul reflecting in me my killed passion burried inside of me and the endless pain pouring in the vessles every second torturing this...

here is how my typical break down would start:
I do not know what on ***** earth is the wrong i did to .....i hate life i hate this world i hate the fact that i am alive i hate the fact that i have to live and every little tiny detail in my life, i wish i did not understamd i wish i were stupid i wish i were nothing just a wall i envey walls for not having to deal with this ......why shall i live? I do not have a single fucking reason to live notrhing i love nothing i want no dreams no hope...

I don't see the point in my life.

My sister keeps on saying she is going to kill herself three of my friends self harm and i think it is because of me.my mum is ill fro stress and no one likes me anymore.

On monday night a girl i knew hung herself and it haunts me!!!!!!

Yeah.... was kind of a shock when I realised it. At first I thought I was just missing England for some odd reason (considering I pretty much hated it). Then I realised it wasn't the place... it was the feeling. The fact that I was always happy while I was there is why I miss it so much.

I'm doing everything I can to stop this. I have to concentrate on my own path.