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I can't do this...
I have come to the conclusion that it must be me, i am the one common factor in all of this with my bf and parents....I deserve every bruise and cut i recieve...otherwise it wouldn't happen.
I'm just pathetic, i stand there and let it happen.. just grow up Charli...
cut cut cut
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The magic word... expelliarmus
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Views 401
Comments 3
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I think I have finally snapped, finally broken.
Suddenly i just want to cut and bleed everywhere, I want to scream in the face of the people who have hurt me, to drink until i can't stand up. And then to finally take all those pills and actually succeed at it this time ....
I'm not the strong person they think I am, i'm broken, I can't be fixed anymore.
I can't take the pain or the urges for any longer.. i'm sorry..
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The magic word... expelliarmus
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Views 381
Comments 2
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I hate it here!
I just want to leave now, better or not!
Just stop talking to me mom, stop telling me how stupid i am. Don't you think i already know that...
Why did they have to find me, why couldn't they have let me go.. it would have hurt less..
I feel like i'm getting worse, i want them to leave me so i can just go, but they won't >_< there's no point, they know i'm just going to try again at some point :/
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The magic word... expelliarmus
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Views 355
Comments 1
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Wow that was fun, i spent most of my night pushing my drunk ass bf off me and holding my friend up. We had to leave the party earlier after an ambulance had to be called because we were climbing on the roof and a lad fell off.
I'm not really enjoying life at the moment, everything seems to find it's way of making me more depressed, i got home and my mom shouted at me for closing the door too loudly and then again for apparantly back chatting >_<.
Might just go and cut and...
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The magic word... expelliarmus
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Views 353
Comments 2
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I finally did it..messed up big time and now he's gone... >_<
I didn't mean to upset him like i did, he wouldn't let me leave but just went ahead and left himself...i'm so stupid. I should just get on with things but i can't, instead i just sit here and drink vodka and SH, i'm such a fail :/
I don't know what i was thinking when i thought things were finally starting...
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The magic word... expelliarmus
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Views 438
Comments 1
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I don't even know whats going on with me lately, i just feel so distant and confused. I don't understand myself anymore, let alone anyone else understanding me. I'm trying to hard to stay calm and composed through everything, to stay strong and tell myself it will be okay in the end: but i'm slowly losing this battle, i can't hold on for much longer, i'm breaking.
Watching my boyfriend...
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The magic word... expelliarmus
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Views 387
Comments 3
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Why does it always have to be me who is in the wrong!? Never him, because he doesn't make mistakes or give in, just changes his mind. But no, i mess up everything, everything that is going on at the moment is my fault, because he had no input at al;, well i must have a pretty clever body to have done this all by myself. I'm trying so hard to hold on and support him and just us in general, he doesn't seem to understand that he has to help me. The stress is unbearable and i'm falling apart.... but...
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The magic word... expelliarmus
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Views 406
Comments 2
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Sometimes i'm pretty sure everyone just ignores me >_< Either that or i'm being told i am too young to be staff, which i get told regularly: i'm not even that young :/
Whenever i make a post asking for advice it is never really answered, i might get one post possibly two sometimes; i sometimes feel as though they are ignored :/
I feel as though since i've become staff i can't really ask for advice, i know that's not the case but you know.
This isn't aimed at anyone, just...
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The magic word... expelliarmus
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Views 393
Comments 2
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My parents keep arguing about my training and whether i can race anymore.
