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I am such a bad friend... (TRIGGERING)

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Posted March 14th 2012 at 12:30 AM by Spoons

So, I have a friend who self harms and mentioned to me today that they had self harmed with an Exacto knife blade. Of course, because they are pretty much my best friend in the entire universe, I was worried about them. At the same time, I was jealous as fuck that they were using an Exacto knife blade. I was just sitting there thinking to myself, "I wish I had one of these," and wishing that this person would give me one. Like I was thinking of begging them to find me one or something but I know that wouldn't have worked. It makes me feel like such a shitty friend that even though I'm concerned, the self harm controlled part of my mind always has a way of taking over and making triggered or "jealous" when someone goes deeper than me or I see their scars. I shouldn't get this way when a person is trying to confide in me.

In other news, my guidance counselor didn't call me down today like she wanted to. I didn't see her today, so maybe she was sick. It doesn't bother me, I don't think, but I really need to just... I don't even know.
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  1. Old Comment
    Counted Heart.'s Avatar
    You're not a bad friend. You just have your own stuff going on. There's nothing wrong with that.
    Posted March 14th 2012 at 06:26 AM by Counted Heart. Counted Heart. is offline

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