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Old

I am such a bad friend... (TRIGGERING)

Posted March 14th 2012 at 12:30 AM by Ennui. (Rantings of a Mermaid Princess)

So, I have a friend who self harms and mentioned to me today that they had self harmed with an Exacto knife blade. Of course, because they are pretty much my best friend in the entire universe, I was worried about them. At the same time, I was jealous as fuck that they were using an Exacto knife blade. I was just sitting there thinking to myself, "I wish I had one of these," and wishing that this person would give me one. Like I was thinking of begging them to find me one or something...
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Living the dream.
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Old

Insert title here. (Triggering!)

Posted March 8th 2012 at 07:17 PM by Ennui. (Rantings of a Mermaid Princess)

I really don't know why I feel so shitty right now. Monday was fine enough, Tuesday I had to take two statewide tests and a final for science. I almost had a breakdown in science class that day, pretty much I threw my pen down and came super close to crying, calling myself a failure, the whole nine yards. Wednesday I was just under stress and whatever, like I have been for a while now. I was supposed to have therapy today but the coolant line in our car broke and so we had to cancel the appointment....
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Living the dream.
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 459 Comments 2 Ennui. is offline
Old

Liar, liar... (SH Trig)

Posted January 11th 2012 at 12:16 AM by Ennui. (Rantings of a Mermaid Princess)

My guidance counselor: "Have you cut anymore?"
Me: *deer in the headlights look, reluctantly shakes head no*

Answer I WANT to say: Yes, about three or four times since a bit before vacation. Relapsing keeps happening and I'm losing control again.

Can't have my parents knowing, though, really can't. Can't be locked up for 72 hours in some psych hospital. Grounded. Have my technology taken. Get lectured by various relatives.

The other day my...
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Living the dream.
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 480 Comments 0 Ennui. is offline
Old

Therapy, Lesbian, and Confusion (TRIG)

Posted January 7th 2012 at 08:31 PM by Ennui. (Rantings of a Mermaid Princess)

I ask for a young therapist so I can relate. I get the old chick who did my intake because of my stupid schedule. I just don't want to miss school or quit my community service, but while I lied to my parents saying I liked that lady, I really only found her okay. But my mom said flat up it's either deal with her or don't go at all, and I kinda DO have to go because while my parents don't know this, it's either go to therapy or overdose. The pills are still getting harder to say no to. And nobody...
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Living the dream.
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 402 Comments 1 Ennui. is offline
 
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