I shouldn't feel this down.
It's wrong, selfish, unneccessary.

i hate me.

It gets worse.
Today has been bad.
That's a lie.
Today has been awful.
Understatement.
The blade helps though.
That's what I live for.
Pain, and Hurt.

I've never been this low...
Even when it was bad, at its worst..
It wasn't like this..
And this is a good day..
I managed to smile today...
I can't think of a reason to carry on...
I hate everyone, everyone hates me...
Can't remember the last day I didn't cry...
I don't see a future, I hardly see a tomorrow...
How can I keep going like this? I don't even know if I want to keep fighting

Something is not right.
Apart from my Im back message I haven't posted in the forums.
I think I've forgotten how to help people...
This is unacceptable.
I am unacceptable.
This. Must. Change.

I feel like dying right now
I hate you for doing this to me
Fuck you
You're going to lose me by doing this..
But if you're going to screw me up.
Suicidal

Been so dippy today.....
Just completely out of it......
Probably will get lost tomorrow...
My friend was the same and we're hopeless on our own together.
It shall be fun when the police come and drive us home... All 3 hours of it from Hull.
I think I'm sleepy

Lost my appetite recently.
Even when it hurts I don't want to eat.
When I do I'm full after like 3 bites.
Kind of glad.
Been waiting for me to not need to eat 24/7
Not good when you're meant to be getting rid of chocolate
But nice for me
I put on weight and now I'm running and hardly eating I should lose it?
I do force myself to eat some tea so its not terrible
And I eat brekky on a school day
But if I'm not hungry surely that's ok
...

The thought of school tomorrow makes me want to cry
Can't face it
Don't make me go
Hate school, hate the people there
they hate me
It's embaressing,
I'm always embaresed.
Fuck.
I can't do it...
Can't go back into the routine
Think I'm going to start SHing again
Don't want to do that...
Might have to though, must keep going
I said I would recover this year,
Said I'd be happy and confident.
I was kidding myself...