TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts Chat Room

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Safety Zone
   Hotlines
   Alternatives
   Calendar
   The Holiday Resource


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!



Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
~Divergent~ Offline
Struggling again.
I've been here a while
********
 
~Divergent~'s Avatar
 
Name: Hailey
Age: 23
Gender: RUNNER GIRL!
Location: California

Posts: 1,039
Blog Entries: 56
Join Date: September 28th 2012

I'm a bit worried that my friend is cutting herself. - August 24th 2013, 04:16 AM

First off, let me just explain that my friend S has definitely been depressed due to certain issues (to what extent, I don't know). The only person she really confides in is our friend E, but it doesn't take a genius to see that she's depressed. Last summer, she also sent me some semi-fictional stories about herself that involved her character cutting herself. I don't know if that part of the story was fictional or not, but at least I know that it's been on her mind before.

So. I totally feel like a stalker for this, but...I found a question on Yahoo Answers (never mind how...) about cutting and I'm a little suspicious that it was written by my friend. The question was something she would ask, it was written in the way she would write it, it was posted 10 months ago (which is the right timing), and it included details that match her exactly. Now, all that could certainly be an easy coincidence, but I noticed that the person's username was my friend's name, and her name isn't a particularly common one. It's not unheard of, but it's definitely not common the way "Jessica" or something is. I think she's the only one in our school (720 people) with that name. Also (again, call me a stalker, but I was concerned), the user had blocked all of her other activity and kept it private - which is something that S would do because she has to get permission before making accounts and is secretive in general.

Anyway, I was just hoping to get some opinions here. Am I overreacting? Do you think it's just a very weird coincidence? I've already been worried about S and I've definitely wondered if she's self harmed, but she's also acted very freaked out by the idea of people hurting themselves...although I admit that that could just be a lie, because I've been-there-done-that myself.

Basically: Do you think I should find a way to ask her about it? If she is self harming, then I definitely want to know, but I don't think she'll ever just tell me. So is this scenario too unlikely or is it worth looking into more?







Member since 9/27/12
Buddy since 9/14/13
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Catharsis. Offline
Member
I've been here a while
********
 
Catharsis.'s Avatar
 
Age: 25
Location: Limerick, Ireland

Posts: 1,671
Blog Entries: 101
Join Date: December 8th 2012

Re: I'm a bit worried that my friend is cutting herself. - August 24th 2013, 10:05 AM

Hi, Hailey!

In all fairness, I think there's too much evidence to suggest S posted that question than otherwise. Obviously, Y!A is a very big network, and it isn't impossible that it's just a very, very weird coincidence. But, that question aside, some of the other information you gave about S also suggests she might be struggling with self-harm (such as those stories), and I would say it's worth looking into.

Best of luck if you choose to ask her about it! If you need advice with how to ask her or how to put it or anything, my PM box is open. =]

~ Gareth
  Send a message via Skype™ to Catharsis. 
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Philomath Offline
Love is > your mistakes
I can't get enough
*********
 
Philomath's Avatar
 
Name: Christina
Gender: Female
Location: Where the books are

Posts: 2,234
Blog Entries: 135
Join Date: July 25th 2009

Re: I'm a bit worried that my friend is cutting herself. - August 24th 2013, 02:04 PM

Hey Hailey,

I agree with Gareth. If you have that much evidence it is her, chances are it could be or it could not be. That is a very large site and many people post questions all of the time.
It is really great you care about her and want to help her.
She probably could use as much support as she can get.
If you end up talking to her, you could always print out the alternatives list and give it to her (to show her there are other ways to cope and that she is not alone).
Hopefully you get to talk to her and she gains another friend that can support her.


"i don't care your intentions. I just want you to know my self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go. At the end of the day...I can pick at the pain but I can't cut it away."
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Rivière Offline
Par la rivière

I can't get enough
*********
 
Rivière's Avatar
 
Name: Sarah
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Wales, UK.

Posts: 2,347
Join Date: June 7th 2013

Re: I'm a bit worried that my friend is cutting herself. - August 24th 2013, 02:04 PM

I think from all the evidence you've gathered, it'd be far too much of a coincidence. Sometimes when people have certain reactions over things it can be because they're wanting to cover up for themselves, like your friend who's freaked out by people hurting themselves, maybe she does the same? She might pretend to be freaked out by the idea of self-harm to cover up for the fact she does it herself, that way no one would suspect. I don't think you're overreacting at all, you have every right to feel like you do because you're worried for your friend. If I want to know something from someone but don't want to ask directly, I'll sort of skim around the edges. Sort of like a spiral, asking certain questions around the subject but not directly towards it until I'm met with the information I need to know. With your friend you could raise a conversation about self-harm and ask her about short-sleeved clothing, this way it'd help to reveal if she's been cutting her arms, same with shorts, that way it could help determine if she cuts her legs. Although there are places you obviously can't ask her to show you, at least talking about short-sleeved clothing or wearing shorts can help skim around the idea of self-harm without revealing your intentions.


Life is for living, not for losing.
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
~Divergent~ Offline
Struggling again.
I've been here a while
********
 
~Divergent~'s Avatar
 
Name: Hailey
Age: 23
Gender: RUNNER GIRL!
Location: California

Posts: 1,039
Blog Entries: 56
Join Date: September 28th 2012

Re: I'm a bit worried that my friend is cutting herself. - August 24th 2013, 09:07 PM

Thank you so much for your input, you guys. I really appreciate it and I'm glad to know that I'm not just being a paranoid, overreacting, overprotective friend. I'm not sure how yet, but I think I'll try to figure out a way to talk to her about it.







Member since 9/27/12
Buddy since 9/14/13
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Wheek! Offline
Eat, sleep, repeat!

TeenHelp Veteran
*************
 
Wheek!'s Avatar
 
Name: Dez
Age: 25
Gender: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Pronouns: She/They
Location: Connecticut, USA

Posts: 19,635
Blog Entries: 142
Join Date: November 16th 2010

Re: I'm a bit worried that my friend is cutting herself. - August 25th 2013, 01:01 AM

I know that one time I was scared that my cousin was cutting because I saw some posts on Tumblr that concerned me, and what I did (mainly because it was nighttime and I wouldn't be able to calm down until I at least asked her) was sent her a message through Facebook. I let her know that I saw these posts on Tumblr that mentioned self harm (I gave her her Tumblr name to confirm it was her) and I was really concerned about them and wanted to make sure she was okay. Maybe you can do something similar, only more regarding your own situation?

I recommend doing it in person, though, if possible, or at the very least over the phone. On a day when she seems to be in a relatively good mood maybe you can say you were looking around on Yahoo Answers and came across a question. You can let her know what the content was and why you think it was her posting it. Then you can let her know why this is really concerning to you, and emphasize the fact that if she IS self harming, she can come to you and you'll try to work through it with her.

But, you know your friend better than I do, so if you know a better way, go for it! Whatever makes you the most comfortable and what you think will make her be the most honest, do.


   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
~Divergent~ Offline
Struggling again.
I've been here a while
********
 
~Divergent~'s Avatar
 
Name: Hailey
Age: 23
Gender: RUNNER GIRL!
Location: California

Posts: 1,039
Blog Entries: 56
Join Date: September 28th 2012

Re: I'm a bit worried that my friend is cutting herself. - August 25th 2013, 01:08 AM

Thanks, Dez! I actually really like your suggestion!







Member since 9/27/12
Buddy since 9/14/13
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
bit, cutting, friend, worried

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


 
User Infomation
Your Avatar

Latest Articles

Forum Stats
Members: 95,271
Threads: 159,510
Posts: 1,370,443
Total Online: 231

Newest Member: BryceRitz




All material copyright ©1998-2021, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints | Mobile

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.