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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Question How do you explain self harm - January 1st 2014, 09:43 AM

I cut on my upper thigh and I've only restarted this semester in college. My girlfriend noticed them a few weeks ago and asked what are they. I just said that they're nothing and she seemed to forget it. I'm about 75% sure that she knows what they are. I really don't want to talk about my cuts. And I also don't want to bring her down or make her worried. I've already (kind of) determined that if she starts worrying about me or tried to make me promise to stop that I will just end our relationship. My last girlfriend of 8 months complained after we broke up that I was an emotional roller coaster. This was also a few days after I drew up enough courage to tell her that I started taking meds for my depression. She was so happy but I guess not enough to deal with my ups and downs. So basically I don't want to hurt this girl and how do I explain my cuts (truthfully or lying) so she won't give it a second thought.
   
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Re: How do you explain self harm - January 1st 2014, 10:45 AM

I think that lying probably isn't the way to go, since if she does end up finding out or the self harm gets worse, she probably will be upset to hear you had lied.

But, I do think you should be honest with her about this. Let her know a bit about what self harm means, such as that it is a way to cope with what is going on around you. You can explain a bit about why you do it if you would like to, or at least tell her a bit about why self harm is helpful to you.

But, you can also let her know what you need from her. For example, explain that you don't want her to constantly worry and that you want her to treat you normally, but it would be nice to have support sometimes. Let her know this isn't something that changes your personality.

All in all, just be honest! You can do this.

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Re: How do you explain self harm - January 1st 2014, 02:50 PM

Be honest about it. Don't be suprised she would be worried about your SH, because it is something worth attention. Just tell her the truth, but ask if you could not discuss it deeper. Don't lie to her, lying is the easiest way to screw things over in every part of life.


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Re: How do you explain self harm - January 1st 2014, 08:14 PM

I would say that honesty is the way to go with this. Lying will only make things more difficult if she finds out the truth. Be honest but make sure that you only say what you're willing to say. Just be honest and get her to understand why she doesn't need to worry.

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