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TwistofFate_07 Offline
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thinking about cutting again - March 8th 2015, 06:49 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I started thinking about cutting myself again. I started having these feelings and thoughts yesterday. I'm just so stressed out and frustrated with myself. My 21 year old cousin keeps blaming me for what my little 6 year old cousin does. Like when my grandma yells at him my 21 year old cousin keeps arguing with her and yelling at her and then keeps saying "he's fucking six years old." He's a baby." Then he brings me into it and I didn't do anything. He does this all the time. Sometimes I just don't want to live there anymore because I feel like nobody likes me anymore and it hurts me a lot. I'm already trying to figure out my sexuality and that's already stressing me out a lot. And then when my grandma buys me stuff he jumps on her about it because she buys me everything.

I don't know what to do. I haven't been cutting since Summer of 2014 and I really don't want to have a relapse. I just don't know what to do at this point and it's really stressing me out.
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Re: thinking about cutting again - March 8th 2015, 10:40 PM

Congratulations on going so long without cutting, that's amazing!

I know it's easier said than done, but try not to let your cousin get to you. You're not at fault for anything your younger cousin does. He's young, and naturally, he's going to get into things. However, that's all by his choice. We can't control the actions of other people; we can only control ourselves. Honestly, I don't think that the things your grandmother buys you has anything to do with your older cousin. It doesn't pertain to him and it's really not his business.

It might help if you create a safe and positive place that's just for you to recharge in. Keep that place cozy and uplifting so you can go and relax whenever you need to. You can also consider listening to music to drown out your thoughts and the voices of others as that can be quite helpful.

Do you have anyone you can confide in? Your grandmother, maybe? You don't deserve to do this alone and it's healthier to express your feelings. Consider documenting them in a journal or a blog. If you don't have anyone to talk to, you can always call a hotline and allow someone to talk you through your urges.

Stay strong, and I'm here if you need anything!

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Re: thinking about cutting again - March 8th 2015, 11:09 PM

Look at it this way, if you cut you're not going to make your cousin stop bothering you. I know it's hard but you can get through it and use the energy you have of frustration for something else. You done so well to have gone SH free for so long. Think about it, it is close to a year. That's something to be proud about Think about what worked in the past. Something that helps is doing the 5 minute game...and you also got TH here<3
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