Triggering: Why do you self-harm?

[hocus pocus]

I'm planning to write an article about self-harm and I'd like to quote responses from this thread. I want to show the perspective of people struggling with self-harm. It is also going to show how self-harm is different for everyone. Some people self-harm for the release, or to create physical pain so they can take care of that instead of the emotional pain. What I want to know, is, what does self-harm do for you? Why do you do it? And if you have anything you think would help other people understand self-harm, go ahead and share. Talk about anything you want to.

I have self-harmed for a variety of reasons. Sometimes I use it because that is what keeps me from suicide. Sometimes it is to make me feel or come back to the present when I am dissociative and numb. I've also used it to get rid of a lot of anxious energy. My body is physically dependent on it, and I sometimes feel like there is something crawling under my skin that needs to come out.

Everything will remain anonymous in the article. If you aren't comfortable posting here, you are more than welcome to PM me.

[Loui]

I don't self harm anymore but I used. The reasonI used to self harm was to get rid of pain i was feeling at the time, self harm is an odd thing. The pain from self harm is physically painful, were as the pain you would be feeling is mentally. When you self harm, you feel that physical pain, letting go of mental pain for the time, then starting to worry about whether or not anyone will see those marks. But then the mental pain comes back and you self harm again and again. Its an escape from world, for short time.


Hope this can help with your article. x

[Sophrosyne]

I think this is a great idea!

I originally started self harming so I could inflict the same amount of pain on me as I did to people, just on me was physically whereas on them was mentally and emotionally. I thought it was only fair and I deserved it. Now I use it to deal with stress and to help manage thoughts of suicide or strong emotions.

I hope this helped and I look forward to reading your article if it is possible!

[Jordioa18]

I self harm to punish myself when I make mistakes or have feelings of mistrust in my girlfriend.

[obelus]

Originally it was a learned behavior between seeing my mom do it and my abusers teaching me. Eventually it was to punish myself. As I came to grips with my abuse it was more to ground myself from dissociation and flashbacks. It still grounds me, but I've been managing not to use it as a grounding technique. It's also an addiction. I love the rush. Seeing how deep I dare to go. But I don't get the same rush anymore so I just prefer not to self harm. I realize I'm better than that. Yeah.

[Lionheart]

I don't do it anymore bit when I did it, it was to feel strong and in controll of things.
I was convinced that I was not allowed to show weakness. I couldn't cry, couldn't ask for help, couldn't admitt to anyone not even myself how bad I felt. But I couldn't keep all the feelings inside either. It was to much, so I let it out by self harming, cause to me it was never being weak. It was a proof that I could handel things myself, without the help of anyone and I wouldn't hurt or annoy or bother anyone that way.
Later on it was simply an addicton. I loved and still love to see the blood and feel strong for enduring the pain. It's like I can do something that others don't have the strenght for.
I found better ways to deal with my feelings though and I learned that admitting to weakness is not being weak at all.
I'm looking forward to read your article!

I, too, self-harm for a variety of reasons. Sometimes I want to use physical pain as a way to distract from the emotional pain I am experiencing. Sometimes I want to dissociate from reality and self-harm helps me "zone out," to speak. Most often, though, self-harm is a means through which I punish myself. I feel like I have failed or disappointed either someone else or myself and so I deserve to suffer.

I've struggled with self-harm on and off for ten years now. In that time I have learned many coping skills that tend to help, when I am committed to using them. Sometimes I am more dedicated than others. It's difficult, but I am working on it. If there was one thing I were to say about self-harm it's that there are other ways to deal with your pain. It's not always easy, but recovery is possible. There's a whole world out there for you to enjoy and you have all the power to do so. Find whatever methods work for you to process your feelings and go make the most of life. It's a beautiful thing, and living it to the fullest is the best thing I can imagine.

[Catlady]

That sounds like a great idea!
I self harm for two different reasons. I started self harming because of these reasons. However, now it's more of an addiction.
1. To make myself feel in control. With all of these thoughts in my head I feel like I am never in control of myself! When I'm self harming I am making the decision therefore in control. Make sense? Ha
2. I self harm to hurt myself. Just because sometimes I can not stand myself and I want to bring physical pain to myself. However, after you self harm for a while you get used to the pain.. Soo, then you do it more and more and bring more pain. Sucks
Hope this helped! Good luck on your article, hope when your done you can let us know where to read it!

[Astrophile.]

When I do self-harm, which isn't often anymore, I do it because I'm so angry that I lose control of myself. In those moments, I do not recognize any other way to cope with the anger, hurt, or frustrations, so I cut or burn myself.

I struggle with PTSD, and with that I struggle with dissociation. When I'm in a dissociative state, I cut in order to ground myself. I feel so numb that I want to feel something, anything, so I cut. That's usually when I go the deepest, I think.

Over the past twelve or so years of self-destructive behaviors, I've become addicted to cutting. Those are just a couple of reasons why I self-harm. I used to do it every day, several times a day, because I thought I needed it to survive. I still do get those feelings, but it's lessened as I got older.

I hope this helps you with the article. I look forward to reading it.

[XXCassXX]

I self harm for control, relief, a different kind of pain, to take out my anger and frustration and sometimes just to feel anything. I also am terrible at dealing with my emotions.

I self harm because a lot of times I feel that I deserve it. It's just a way to punish myself and feel the pain that other people failed to do for me. I have a problem with feeling guilty for so many things that I do and love to see the blood flow through my skin. Other times, I do it to express my feelings in the form of a mark of time but on myself and to use it as a distraction. Hope this helped with your article.

[-TheGreyWolf-]

I used to self harm because of stress I couldn't relieve any other way.I was having alot of home issues and I didn't have anyone to talk to so I just relieved what anger,sadness,and stress I had with cutting.