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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Unhappy He goes to my college now Part 2 - November 21st 2017, 01:02 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So for those of you who read my first post about this, there's been a resolution! But its not over yet...
I went to the safe place counseling center on campus to see what they could do for me and the counselor helped me tons about telling me my options and supporting me as I told her my story. She helped me file a Title IX complaint to the school, which is a form that says there's been abuse/sexual assault that happened between me and another student (my abuser) on campus. I got a no contact order so I feel a little bit safer now but now the Title IX coordinator emailed me asking if I want to go further with this and in part I do! I want to get the investigation done and hopefully he'll be kicked out and I will never ever see him again in my entire life. But at the same time I'm afraid, because what the investigation will do is that they talk to me, hear my story, then talk to him, hear his side, and I'm afraid that he's gonna manipulate his way to winning over me like he always does and he won't be kicked out and that's it. I just am so scared and afraid of so many things and I don't wanna go through this process but at the same time I think it's worth the sacrifice? I just want this to be over with already. Any advice? I have to email back before November 28th so advice now would be great thanks


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Re: He goes to my college now Part 2 - November 21st 2017, 03:34 AM

Hey there,

I think that there are definitely some positive things that come from speaking out and having something like this investigated. However, I don't think your sole reason for going through with this should be to see him get kicked out. I pressed charges against my abusers but I didn't do so for quite some time, maybe a year after I actually realized what had happened, the main reason being that I was not ready too. Anyway, for me, pressing charges was a way for me to have my voice heard even if the people didn't get into trouble.

Even though I went into it with very little hopes of them getting into trouble, I was devastated when the case was closed and I was told there wasn't any proof.

I don't regret it too much though and on my good days I am glad I went forward with the charges.

So, I think you need to think about if you can handle this person not getting in trouble. If you feel like there might be other things that could come from speaking out, such as having your voice heard, then go for it.

I think that going forward with something like this is a very personal decision and there is no right or wrong answer. There is simply the best choice for you.

If you ever want to chat feel free to message me.


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Re: He goes to my college now Part 2 - November 21st 2017, 01:12 PM

It is good that you saw the counselor and got a no contact order! I’ve been thinking about you and wondering how you’ve been doing.

Something worth thinking about with this, as it’s been said above, is that by doing this, you do take the risk of having him not get into any trouble. That’s not to say it’ll be because he will manipulate his way out though. You have a few days to think about this so maybe it would help to sit down and think of what the outcomes could be and if you feel like you can work through receiving an outcome that you do not want.

Also, how would you feel about telling your story? Would you be able to emotionally handle that right now while you’re in school? Everyone is different but some people struggle a lot in other aspects of their life while doing something like this.

Definitely sit down and think about the different aspects and outcomes before coming to a decision that is best for you. And, do keep us in the loop if you’d like! We’re rooting for you.


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