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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Affecting my head - Rape - September 30th 2009, 06:34 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Last year I got very drunk at a party and ended up lying on a bathroom floor. I remember a guy coming up behind me and raping me. I was too drunk to turn around or try and stop him, but I remember saying no more than once. I feel that it was my fault that I was raped because I was stupid enough to put myself in that vulnerable situation.

Now in my psychology class, we're studying forensic psychology and rape is our major project topic. It's too hard for me to sit and listen to our teacher talk about why rape occurs, but I can't just walk out either. I feel that I can't talk to my teacher about being raped because it would have to be reported to authority, and I know it was my fault that it happened.

Does anyone have any idea's about what I should do?

Thanks
   
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Re: Affecting my head - Rape - September 30th 2009, 07:12 AM

First of - it is not your fault, never your fault. I know you may feel like it is, and your head is filled with would haves, could haves and should haves, but that is not the case. I repeat, it is not your fault.

As for talking to you teacher about it, if you're not still in a situation where you're being raped, I don't think they are forced to report it. In addition, your age says 18 - is that right? If so as you're an adult I don't think they have to report it if you tell them about it. (Although, reporting it would be a good thing to do.) Are you able to perhaps just consult her after class and imply something? Like

"Something happened to me once, and talking about this makes me feel really uncomfortable, I'm not sure I'm able to handle it mentally at the moment. Is there some other topic I could study or when discussing this in class if I could be excused?"

Seeing as she's a psych teacher, one would assume she has some knowledge about rape and the associated feelings and such. I think she would understand where you were coming from?

Also, have you seen or talked to a counsellor or anything about this? Like, rape is a serious thing and it can affect you a lot, and you're see this happening to you know. I know it's hard, but it's best to try and deal with this, and process it properly, particularly by talking about it with someone such as a counsellor. Are you able to do this?
   
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Re: Affecting my head - Rape - September 30th 2009, 05:08 PM

I agree with Queen of Hearts. Your psych teacher must be understanding because she does have a degree in psychology. Asked to be excused, and that you just don't feel comfortable enough at the moment to discuss the topic. Being that you're 18, you're considered a legal adult, so the teacher cannot turn you in or quote you to authorty without your legal permission.

and it's not you're fault. not at all. i know its hard but try and remember that.


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Re: Affecting my head - Rape - September 30th 2009, 05:19 PM

i agree with both of the above.
as an outsider hearing ur story, i truely believe it was not your fault.
it was wrong of him to come and do that, espically when you repeatitively said no.
it's not your fault, not one bit!
   
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Re: Affecting my head - Rape - October 1st 2009, 05:36 AM

Psych teacher is a male. Not sure what his reaction would be. Does it change anything? Do males have a different idea about rape to women? Would be good to hear from any guys with what you think.
   
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Re: Affecting my head - Rape - October 1st 2009, 07:32 AM

I've read studies that male psychiatrists have written on women coping after being raped, they're always very sympathetic and understanding.
I think that unless he has no soul he would be understanding as he IS a psychology teacher.
And like the previous posters said, there's no need to go into graphic details of what happened. He should catch on to your discomfort.

Good luck Morgan.
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Re: Affecting my head - Rape - October 1st 2009, 07:43 AM

Thankyou for the advice everyone :]

I will take the leap. Hopefully, lol If im strong enough.

:]
   
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Re: Affecting my head - Rape - October 2nd 2009, 02:03 AM

I can tell you from experiance too it's not an easy subject to hear about it. I can tell you right now it isn't your fault - its no ones fault when they are. All I can tell you is that it will be a hard thing to go through in life but you will make the right choice in how you over come it. My b/f that I have been with has been really understanding and help me over come my fear of having this happen again,so I hope you can find someone that does this for you and who ever else has been raped. As for letting your teacher know the only thing I can tell you is brace yourself and mention you don't remember what happen and who it was so they cant really have you report it but they can help some maybe. Like I said My bf now he took a lot of stuff on but he worked with me to over come it and he was the one I can put trust in. If you trust the teacher then they should understand and not look down on you and think the opposite. Just remember that THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT! I hope it works out right if you need some one to talk to I will be here just send me a message.
   
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Re: Affecting my head - Rape - October 2nd 2009, 07:08 AM

Good luck with telling him, I know it's a really hard thing. If it helps you could you even just give him a letter vaguely explaining it or send an email his way? Sometimes that can be easier. Whatever happens, keep us posted here. We're rooting for you :P
   
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Re: Affecting my head - Rape - October 2nd 2009, 08:48 PM

i do believe you should tell yuor teacher about what happened they will support you. not all males believe girls should be raped most of them are nice supportive. your 18 so they cannot report it unless you say its ok.
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Re: Affecting my head - Rape - October 4th 2009, 05:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pour Into Possibility View Post
Thankyou for the advice everyone :]

I will take the leap. Hopefully, lol If im strong enough.

:]

You are strong!!!!
   
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Re: Affecting my head - Rape - October 5th 2009, 06:40 AM

I did it! I told my psych teacher, and he was pretty cool about it. I could tell he was pretty keen to ask what happened but he just said that any topics we covered in class about rape, he'd let me know before the class and gave me permission to not attend. He also said he'd avoid the topic when I was in class.

A good outcome :]
   
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Re: Affecting my head - Rape - October 5th 2009, 06:04 PM

Hey Morgan, I'm really glad everything is working out for you and I'm proud of you for being able to talk to him.

Since the original topic seems to have been solved I'm going to go ahead and close this thread. Feel free to start new threads if needed or you can PM me if feel this one needs to be reopened for any reason.

I hope you're doing okay.
<3 emily


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but just being right where you are, who you are"

   
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