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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Unhappy How do I tell my parents that I think I'm depressed? - November 4th 2014, 03:56 AM

How do I tell my parents that I think I'm depressed?
For the past few years, I believe that I've been suffering from depression. I haven't been diagnosed by a doctor, but anyone else going through depression would probably agree that you can kind of tell when you are. I've also done my research and I have many to almost all of the symptoms that I've read about such as mood swings, over sleeping, decrease in appetite, decrease in mood especially in the late fall/early winter, bone/muscle aches, fatigue, and I get sick or at least feel sick very often. This would probably be my third year of having these feelings now, and they're really starting to affect my life. I've been missing a lot of school, I started smoking and using drugs, I occasionally self harm and it's recently gotten worse, and I've ruined many friendships. My parents know about my drug problem, but haven't confronted me and probably won't. I want to be able to partially explain myself, but I'll never be able to flat out confess to them that use drugs. I just couldn't. I figured if they at least knew what I was going through that they might not be so heartbroken about it and maybe I wouldn't feel as guilty(although I know I'll still feel very guilty). I want to tell them. But how do I? And also a question for parents, how would you feel if your kid told you that they thought they were depressed?
Please, anyone suggest ways. I feel like I'm stuck right now. The one thing I never wanted to do was disappoint my parents, and now I have. Please help me fix it.
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Re: How do I tell my parents that I think I'm depressed? - November 4th 2014, 05:25 AM

Hello there and welcome to TH It sounds like you've been dealing with a lot for a long time and I'm glad you're ready to reach out; it takes a lot of courage.

I'm not a parent, so I can't answer your last question from that perspective, but I can tell you that parents react in a variety of ways and you know them best as far as predicting how they'll react. You can't control how they're going to feel about what's going on, but you can decide to have the conversation that you know you need to have. I can understand feeling guilty about disappointing them, but I think you've done the best you could to cope with the resources you have available to you and whether you have the conversation or not won't change their feelings about what's happened.

As far as having the conversation, THIS ARTICLE may help. It's best to do it when things are calm and when they aren't busy, or to set aside a time to talk about it. If telling them is difficult, you can write them a letter, or make yourself bullet points to make sure that you cover all the things you feel are important. If you think they already know that you use drugs, you may not have to confess, they may ask. If you can, it's best to at least try to tell them if it doesn't come up. You can't go back and changed what's already happened, but you can change the future by reaching out to them for help. I know this is difficult, but you can do it. Good luck


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Re: How do I tell my parents that I think I'm depressed? - November 4th 2014, 06:59 AM

If my kid told me he/she were depressed, id get them a therapist and I would also tell my kid he can always come talk to me when he needs to.

You should go see a therapist also get a journal and write down how you feel and what caused it.
Depression is commen in teenagers. Talk to your parents, sit down with them and explain how your feeling.


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Re: How do I tell my parents that I think I'm depressed? - November 4th 2014, 04:33 PM

Hey there, first off I'd like to say that you are very strong for even considering telling your parents about feeling deppressed lately. Getting help is often the hardest step towards recovery, but it is also the most important.
Finding a calm time when your parents aren't busy is important, or if it's hard to catch them not busy tell them that you have something really important you want to talk to them about. Try writing a list of all the things you want to tell them such as why you think you're depressed, how you think you could get better with support, and how you'd like their support. Some things, such as the drugs and self-harm, will be hard for you to say and also for your parents to hear. Some parents have a hard time accepting these things when they find them out, but they'll come to terms with it. Keep in mind that if they have a bad first reaction it won't last forever. They should come around and support your healing process in the end.
I'm not a parent, or anywhere close to being a parent but I am a big sister. I can tell you that if any of my brothers came to me and told me that they have been depressed I would do everything in my power to support them, get them in therapy, and let them know that my door is open 24/7 for them to talk to me.
I hope that this helped and I wish you the best of luck


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Re: How do I tell my parents that I think I'm depressed? - November 4th 2014, 05:51 PM

I can't tell my parents because I really doubt they would care, they aren't very understanding and would probably tell me to man up or something. But yeah, if you're parents are understanding then they would surely support you, get you therapy and even some good advice they must have gone through it themselves, everyone suffers from depression at some point in their life so maybe they can give you some advice on how to deal with it too and perhaps some motivation.
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Re: How do I tell my parents that I think I'm depressed? - November 5th 2014, 03:03 AM

Hey there! Getting help is one of the first steps of recovery, so I'm glad that you're reaching out for help here, and wanting to reach out to your parents.

I highly doubt that your parents will be disappointed in you. They might be upset, but that is most likely because they hate seeing you in pain, but I can promise you that they do care. After all, they're your parents. Depression, at least for me, made me think that my parents wouldn't understand and that they'd hate me for telling them, and I think that happens to a lot of people. The great thing is that our parents often surprise us. They might take it really well and get you the help you need! I think one of the best things that you can do to help them understand is to print off some information about depression - what it is and how it makes you feel and how it can be treated. It might help them to already be armed with information about your condition before they dive into the treatment process with you.

I promise you that you can do this. Telling my parents was a huge burden off my shoulders - I didn't feel like I had to be secretive anymore. It can do the same for you. As far as self harming and doing drugs, try some of these alternatives (click here) when you get the urge to self harm. They may help distract you and get you through the urges.

Good luck telling your parents! Let us know how it goes.


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