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Death, Grieving and Coping With Loss Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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still grieving - June 9th 2011, 04:21 AM

my mom commit suicide when i was nine. i still cry when the slightest thing reminds me of her, and i cant bring myself to tell my friends. my family has grown distant and dysfunctional since then. will it ever stop hurting?

despite not being able to connect anymore, im still extremely attached to my father. im always scared he won't come home one day. and then sometimes i wish he just wouldnt so i could stop obsessing over his safety. i hate myself
                   
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Re: still grieving - June 9th 2011, 05:41 AM

that is prolly something you will never get over, its one of those things you have to learn to live with... You can't let it define you you have to accept it... I understand the constant fear for someones safety after loosing someone close. After my bestfriend of 11 yrs died, I constantly worry about my friends safety and ESPECIALLY family and my boyfriend to them it is annoying BUT NO one understands... What I did was a took a note book and just let my pen go and let it out ANYTHING I mean take your anger out, stab it scribble use color to express emotion.... BUT NEVER hate yourself, you have soo much going for you, and I'm not saying let go and forget cause I know you can't you have to accept it, deal with it, but dont let it define you as a person and let it make you who you are... Maybe a therapist can help... I can go on and on with this but PM me if you need anything....


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You'd better know that in the end, Its better to say too much, Than never to say what you need to say again" - John Mayer

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Re: still grieving - June 9th 2011, 09:17 PM

Hey there,

I'm so sorry for your loss, I really can't imagine what it must be like to have gone through something so traumatic at such an unbelievably young age! As a family I can understand why it has hit you all so hard and caused you to drift, however you should try to get your family together to help eachother out. It obviously still bothers you a lot, so talking to them may help bring them closer, not only together, but to you aswell. In turn you'll find yourself with a lot more support and comfort surrounding you when you don't feel happy about this.

And it's totally natural to still be upset, by the way! A mother is someone very close to our hearts and to lose the person that bought us into the world; the very first person we met as a baby; will be difficult to get over. While the pain may never fully disapear, there are ways to deal with it by surrounding yourself with people that love and support you, as I've already suggested.

It's also pretty natural to feel a strong attachment to your father after this. Obviously with him being your last remaining parent you will want the connection from him not only as a father but as a mother too because you don't have one. You have to remember though, that his safety is something that I'm sure he can manage. The more you worry over it the more it will upset you and if that is the case then you won't find yourself feeling less stressed and happy. You need to talk to him about this so he can reassure you that he will be okay and try to keep himself safe and always come home to you.

I hope this has helped a little bit, and if you ever need to talk to someone, feel free to PM me at anytime and I'll try to help as best I can. Take care of yourself and try to pull through this, I know it's hard but you can do it!

Smile,
Hollie.


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Re: still grieving - June 10th 2011, 05:01 AM

Honey, its going to hurt.
Small things will remind you of her,
its normal i promise.

Things will get better, as time goes on; you're going to be able to accept it more and more, don't ever erase the memories with her, and don't ever stop loving her. Don't hate yourself, because you did nothing wrong. Its a good thing to have an attachment to family and friends, you never know when they will breathe their last breathe. Love your father, and make sure he knows you love him. Never forget to say 'i love you' every time he leaves.

Stay Strong,
You can do it. <3

I'll be praying for you!
-Abby.
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