Non-PG13: Grieving from loved ones

[EmoEllie]

hi I am having trouble moving forward from when my aunt passed away. someone told me to write a letter to myself. do I write a letter to the girl at that age?

[Eternal Dreamer ♥]

Sometimes when it's hard to deal with someone's death, people write letters to the person that past, and read it out loud. If you are writing a letter to yourself, I would do the age you were at then.
I'm sorry for you loss, and any time you need to talk, I am here for you!
-Kayla.

[Chris]

Hey there,

I'm really sorry to hear about the situation you're in right now. Losing someone is never easy. Kayla is right, you'd write a letter addressed to the age you were before.

In regards to the recovery process - it may take weeks, months, and in some cases years to fully understand, accept, and move on from the loss. I'd also like to recommend the following to speed up the process: get your mind off things by getting involved (ie: keeping yourself busy). You can do that by getting a full-time job, school work, volunteering, clubs/sports, etc. I've found that this particular recommendation helped me when I lost a friend. You can also start journaling (or blogging) your feelings so they don't bottle up inside. Or you can begin to work out (ie: exercise) to not only remain in a healthy standing (physically), but also to release some of those bottled up feelings/emotions.

If you find that none of these recommendations are working with your grieving process; then I would try to go and see someone (ie: counselor, social worker, therapist, psychiatrist, etc). They will be able to provide you with more recommendations that might better fit you, and also help you along during this process of grieving.


Best wishes,
Chris

[Storyteller.]

Hey there.

I'm so sorry for your loss. The thing you have to remember is that everyone grieves differently, so it's never a sure thing that what works for one person will work for another. The lovely people above me have covered the letter thing, so I'll just give you a few more ideas.

One thing I find helpful is to do something to honour the deceased. For example, you could make a scrapbook or get involved in a cause they were passionate about; it can be as little or as big as you like, as long as it's meaningful.

You could also try writing a letter to the person who passed away, to say the things that perhaps you never got the chance to while they were alive. If you're creatively inclined you could even draw a picture or write a poem. Whatever helps you express yourself is perfectly okay at this point.

The most important thing right now is to be gentle with yourself. This is a hard time for you, and although you might feel like you should be able to just move on from it, it's never that easy. So give yourself time, go easy on yourself, and let yourself move on at your own pace.

Take care, and good luck with it all.

[EmoEllie]

thank you all for your help. its good to have a few ideas. with the holidays coming its rough and the anniversary is not far away

[Ennui.]

You're definitely right that the holidays can be a tough time. Since you said this was your aunt, it is likely that someone else in your family may be feeling something similar to you. Even if not, they may know a bit about how to help you through it. So, what I can also suggest to you besides what has already been talked about it speaking with one of your other family members. The two of you can become a bit of a support system for each other, helping each other through when you need to talk. It can help a lot to not go it alone.