trying to cheat on jinxes-related to anxiety?

[Not_here]

Hi everyone,
I definitely had this issue for a while now. I remember as a kid doing things because of these thoughts I had. In short I believed in the yin and yang. There's good and bad. But basically my life will have both good and bad. So take a single day for instance. Good things will happen and so will bad things. Sometimes though I get really nervous about what possible bad things can actually happen so I try to control the bad things. This can happen in the form of worrying and putting all my energy in trying to jinx the bad thing from actually happening (if I think too much I'll put an evil eye on something evil (or traumatic) that's about to happen). So yeah, sometimes I'd even procrastinate on schoolwork because I believed if I got into "crunch time mode" and suffered in some way, I'd do better on the exam. The causing myself suffering thing is me taking the "bad" part of my day into my own hands, and then it's like I'll get good things happen as well as being able to predict or have control over the bad things-by producing them myself. I see how distorted this is but I can't let go of it. I'm not sure what to do. Any advice? Anyone goes through the same (or similar) things?

This is just one form of anxiety I'm experiencing-and have been experiencing for as long as I could remember. Even when I was a little kid, maybe around 8 years old and I'd be on the school bus going on a trip with my daycamp. I'm supposed to be having FUN. And all I'd do is worry. My worries aren't fake-it's not like I force myself to worry but I was mentioning above about why worrying became addictive to me. The procrastination "reasoning" started happening after I was already procrastinating. You know what I mean? It's all so complicated

Basically, it's taken a new layer. Basically ever since I started cutting I feel like I have to incorporate it into the causing bad things to myself. It's really confusing, even to me. I've done skin picking, biting sleeves (enough to produce holes in my sweaters), peeling finger and toe nails, peeling lips, emotional eating, and various other repetitive things since a young age. Cutting is pretty new (started a few years ago) but what I described so far is not the only reason I cut. Even if I did stop cutting, I would just be removing a behavior but the thought mechanism is still operating. So yeah. I'm just not sure anymore.

[Kindred]

Hey,

Not entirely sure if I'm relating to you exactly- but I always imagine all tha bad things that could happen in a situation. Like, people always say things come unexpectedly, like on the night you go to bed and your house burns down, you won't have been expecting that....do you have any idea what I mean? I thought (think) that if you imagine all the bad things that will happen, that will somehow prevent them from happening. I feel weird xD

The way I deal with it is by reminding myself I don't have special powers, and bad things are going to happen whether I try and "jinx" them or think about them. I have to remind myself no one can see my thoughts and no one is impacted by my thoughts but me, so I can't influence anything with just a thought. It that makes sense.

Maybe I'm shooting off the mark here, I just thought I could kinda relate to what you were saying

[Not_here]

Originally Posted by Harlequin.

Hey,

Not entirely sure if I'm relating to you exactly- but I always imagine all tha bad things that could happen in a situation. Like, people always say things come unexpectedly, like on the night you go to bed and your house burns down, you won't have been expecting that....do you have any idea what I mean? I thought (think) that if you imagine all the bad things that will happen, that will somehow prevent them from happening. I feel weird xD

The way I deal with it is by reminding myself I don't have special powers, and bad things are going to happen whether I try and "jinx" them or think about them. I have to remind myself no one can see my thoughts and no one is impacted by my thoughts but me, so I can't influence anything with just a thought. It that makes sense.

Maybe I'm shooting off the mark here, I just thought I could kinda relate to what you were saying

Yeah, that's a lot of what I do too. I imagine all the possibilities because somehow if I thought of them if it means it won't happen.
And what you're saying makes sense. I should probably reason like that and realize I'm not so powerful. Sometimes I also feel like the universe hates me and is purposely out to get me because I'm a bad person

[Philomath]

Hey,

I cannot relate fully but I do tend to worry about what could happen in just about every situation. I analyze the consequences and it annoys the heck out of me but I have not found a foolproof way to stop doing this.
I believe it may be rooted in not wanting things to go wrong and the negative consequences we know will occur if we do not solve a situation the perfect way or something like that possibly?
I'm not really sure.
I definitely know you are not alone and that maybe if you keep telling yourself that worrying will will not benefit you or anyone else that could help possibly. I know that can be easier to suggest than to act but with time, this could help you.
Hope this is useful in some way and that you are having a nice Christmas/New Year's.
You can PM me if you would like someone to talk to or just a person to listen.
Take care.

[Not_here]

Originally Posted by Kakorrhaphiophobia

I believe it may be rooted in not wanting things to go wrong and the negative consequences we know will occur if we do not solve a situation the perfect way or something like that possibly?
I'm not really sure.

I think it may be rooted in that too, simply because I don't have good coping skills

Wishing you a happy holiday and new year to you too