First day of work and I hate my manager

[Jess~]

So yesterday I finally started my first day at my first job ever. At first, this was going to be a celebration post because I've been job searching for almost 2 years and have FINALLY gotten a job.
As far as I can tell, there are 3 managers. The hiring manager is the nicest and I'm closest to her. The main manager I haven't really had the chance to engage with. But the third is just downright rude.

Of course I want to keep my workplace as anonymous as possible. Basically I'm a checkstand bagger, so I bag groceries. We're not just assigned to one checkstand, we have to bounce to different checkstands based on who needs help the most.
Like I said, it was my first day. The only "training" I had was watching a video of someone bag groceries. The worst part is that the training video was super old and was based on when regular plastic bags could be used. So technically we're supposed to do things like keep the frozen stuff all in one bag and the hot stuff all in another. Keep the non-food items in a separate bag from the food. Etc.
But now we have a law implementing "reusable bags only", so now people have to pay for the thick reusable bags if they want a bag. Since they'll say the number of bags they want to buy, we have to make sure everything fits in those few bags, so I can't bag in the way that the training video talked about.
Also it's hard, because customers will often bring their own bags to use, and so we have to work with alllll differently shaped and structured bags.

What I'm saying is, especially during the busy rushes, it can be extremely difficult to properly bag the customer's items. Particularly when there's a bag limit and we have to make sure it all fits in the set number of bags.

So I worked with 5-6 different cashiers yesterday, including Manager #3. Every single cashier introduced themselves to me, tried to get to know me a little bit, and gave me a piece of advice. Literally every single one was so friendly and awesome and tried to help me out. But Manager #3 didn't even look at me.
When I would run into things I wasn't sure about, I would ask the cashier what to do with them, and every other cashier would happily help me out. But Manager #3 would ignore my questions.

Since there's so many different bag options now, we have to listen closely for what the customer says. This one customer said he would buy a bag, so I started bagging. I didn't hear him say anything else, but all of a sudden Manager #3, who was the cashier I was working with at the time, put a paper bag on the counter and pointed at the alcohol the customer was buying.
I was confused because I honestly didn't realize we used paper anymore either. The only thing that stood out about this was that the customer bought alcohol, so I asked Manager #3 if the paper bag was just for the alcohol or what. And she actually stopped the transaction she was doing to stare at me and say, in a tone that made it sound like I was stupid, "No... it's for his stuff..? You know, to do your job and bag with?"
It was just really embarrassing, because since she stopped everything to make a snide comment, the customer (who was very attractive, of course) heard and saw everything too, along with the customers behind him.

A lot of times when people purchase just one bag, they only have a few items so they usually didn't bring a cart. There was a long streak of people who didn't bring carts through the checkstand, and it was towards the end of the day so my mind was getting tired. I'm not excusing this mistake, I'm just saying why I made it, and I'm going to make sure to be more attentive next time.
So these people only needed one bag, so after I bagged their items, I didn't even think to put it in their cart because I forgot that was a thing. Plus, they didn't push the cart to the front like most people do, so it was a bit hidden behind the cash register.
So I started looking at the other checkstands to see if anyone was more busy and needed a bagger.
While I was looking around, Manager #3 actually left her cashier spot to bump me out of the way so she could put the single bag in the customer's cart. She wasn't even finished with the transaction. She literally left what she was doing as the cashier, to do my job. I get that maybe she was frustrated because I'm new and I'm slow and I suck at bagging anyway, but she could've used her words to just say, "They have a cart." Just the way she does everything around me is so hasty and controlling, it comes off as really rude.

Even on the phone, while I was in the process of being hired, I had to call in and talk to the hiring manager. I remember Manager #3 picked up and after I asked if the hiring manager was available and she said no, I tried asking her the question I had. She interrupted me mid-sentence and said, "Yeah, -the hiring manager- will call you." Then hung up.

I realize she's probably super busy and stressed, but I don't think that gives her a pass to be so snappy with me. Even if she didn't know the answer to my question, there's a more professional way to end that call. There's a more professional way to do everything that she did that upset me.
Besides her, I like working there. But just because of her I left my first day feeling really negative about everything. I just don't understand the passive aggressiveness when she doesn't even know me.

I can't talk to anyone at work about it, because she's super friendly and outgoing to everyone else there. My mom deals with passive aggressive people at her work too, and when I tell her to talk to someone she always says that if you say the wrong thing to the wrong person, you can lose your job. Which I have no doubt is true in my case, because you can tell this manager is really high up there in terms of reputation, which probably contributes to why she acts the way she does.
I feel like maybe I have to earn her respect and prove I'm not a pussy. (That's what it feels like, honestly. Since I wasn't very confident in my abilities yesterday, maybe I came off as weak in a way.)
And I can't talk to her because she'll either ignore me or snap something at me.

It might be a bit early to jump to conclusions and make this thread about what to do, because maybe she just had a bad day or something. But that still doesn't explain why she was nice and friendly to every other worker except for me.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

Hello Jess,
Congratulations on you're job. That's wonderful! I know that you are going to be great. I am sorry that one of you're managers are rude. When you are working at a place you always want to go to work and be happy that you are going to and that you like the people that are around you. And when you have someone that is rude it is going to throw you and everyone else off because it changes everyone's moods. Because you don't always know what to say with them acting like this. I really hope that you're manager gets better and is nice to you and everyone else. You said that you bag groceries, I think that's great, whenever I go to Meijers grocery store and if I don't want to bag my on groceries, I am very thankful for the people who do this for me. People do have different size bags like you said, and sometimes it's hard making everything fit , even when I am bagging it myself. Try and put the biggest things into the bags first and then the rest of the groceries. I know that you said it was you're first day, it will get better. I know that you can do this and be great. Try not to get upset or stress a lot. Hugs.

[Kate*]

Been there! And I can say that it probably wasn't you. Some managers hate new people because you're obviously learning and slowing things down and when they have other things to deal with on top of that, they can get frustrated and start taking it out on people. You're right that there's no excuse for it, but that might be what's happening.

Yes, discussing it with the wrong person, especially early on could lose you the job, but if it continues, consider saying something to the hiring manager, especially if you're comfortable. Instead of complaining "Manager told me to do this, or is being this way." Ask a coworker or other manager how to do what she seems to think the problem is and they'll help you fix it and get better without bringing the manager's name into it. If you can avoid this person and there's someone else you can go to instead for help or advice, I would just avoid her. If not, your only option is to not let it get a rise out of you. Her behavior is wrong, but if you respond the same way, they'll hold it against you, not her.

The good/bad news is that you can't control her. Just do the best you can and stay as calm about it as possible. It was your first day, something was bound to go wrong and be overwhelming. It'll get better as you get more comfortable and catch on to how things work.

[amyburgess]

I think it would not be hard to always respect the neighbor, especially in the work, since it does not oblige you to be friends. you must be a well-coordinated team and effectively perform their duties. But you will not necessarily be best friends

[Jess~]

thanks for the advice guys

luckily, i haven't worked with that specific manager ever since that first day, so hopefully i won't have to work with her often.
i actually asked how my mom felt about that manager, before telling her what actually happened, and she said she'd always been extremely rude and unfriendly to my mom. my mom said she might be racist, because why else would she act the same towards the two of us, and so nice to most other people? but i'm not too sure about that one.

either way, she's a bitch and i'll just have to learn to live with it.
thanks again for the support!